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Oh Yes, I Do Have a ’tude

May 30, 2008
A good Internet friend emailed me this morning to see how things were going since I have not posted in a few days. I am fine. I have been reading the net some, but not much, because I have been bored. Not only bored but my eyes hurt from rolling them too much. Mainly, I am sick of the frauds on the net. So-called anti-racists are among the biggest. Hypocrisy is one thing, hypocrisy can be cured, hypocrisy is nothing more than cognitive dissonance, a bridge can be built and crossed when said hypocrite is ready to bring the two sides together, or in other realms, hypocrisy can be a coping mechanism, a generous and charitable description I know, but, I do believe it to be the case in many hypocritical situations. But phoniness, –phonies are a whole other ball of wax. Phoniness is fraudulent. I have a very difficult time reconciling with the phonies. Unlike hypocrites, phonies are criminal. I have faith that hypocrites just need time or an ah-ha moment, whereas phonies are irredeemable. The phonies live by the pay off. The phonies protect the pay off. The phonies need the pay off. The phonies don’t care about anyone or anything but feeding their phoniness in order to ensure the pay off. The phonies in the anti-racist movement (and anti-classist movement, but only acknowledging it as a valid concern if asked, an that answer comes in a form of an of course afterthought), especially the white ones have found a market in anti-isms. Anti-ism is the new commodity, the new toy to own (but not really own, just pretend to own, because if it was truly owned, then they would not be phonies but real anti-ists, but that is too difficult of a task, that would require actual effort, and even though the pay off is good, it is not that good, so to ensure the pay off is received with minimal effort the phonies band together to lower the bar and keep it lowered).

I may talk about it some more later, but I must prepare and brace myself because I am finding out that the privilege class get their feelings hurt very easily. It is easy now, almost cookie cutterish to say, “I have privilege I acknowledge this” but for some reason these privileged people demand to continue defining the less fortunate, the less privileged, not in the less fortunate’s reality but in how the privilege class sees them. In the privilege class, the so-called anti-racists/classists (it’s become all colours too, not just limited to whites, but still mostly narrated by white men with the most to lose if their current and historical position is lost) like to tell somebody that they are too combative, too angry. Damn where have I heard this accusation before?

I’m sick of it. I am no saint, I know this, and sometimes I do imagine how life would be easier if I were to just become part of the bourgeoisie (we certainly make enough money now and have the credit to pull it off. Although we must hide that fact depending on who and where we are at, because that is part of being from an underclass, but only a member of the underclass would understand this balancing act, the bougies will find it silly I am sure since they love to let everyone know how much they have and what they are doing for all those poor unfortunate souls) but my past, my friends, my childhood friends, my old neighborhoods, my family, the people I used to work with, the women I help get G.E.D.s keep me focus, and remind me daily that this bullshit narrative written about the underclass that these privileged people write on the web is just that, bullshit. And the net certainly has soured my aspirations for a PhD. Fuck that. I rather pump out as many G.E.Ds I can in order to infiltrate the sacred institutions of the deserving privileged class (if that is what the G.E.D recipients want to do. Many actually enjoy being vocational and only feel their vocational type jobs are inferior because the privileged class is determined to pay them inferior wages and treat them as if they are inferiors). Maybe a real struggle story can be told and heard, instead of the crap like “My mama had to get a job when I wanted to be a cheerleader in high school so I could go to cheerleader camp.” Boo hoo. Or the poor struggling town folk that cheers and passes tens and twenties to the college bound boy so he can make the town proud. My heart just breaks with joy. Or the most famous one, “we moved around a lot.”

Oh, I know, that bitch should not have opened her legs. It’s always the answer, always. It may take several degrees to arrive to it, and several philosophers will conic about, but it is and has always been the final destination.

One Comment
  1. Natasha permalink
    May 31, 2008 8:18 pm

    This is why I love you Kitty,

    you speak from the very eyes of those who know what it is…from the depth of the heart and you describe the division of labor to a t. I want to say like this barrier but I don’t know how one describes that but the net, cybernet, yea its like this whole other world, no doubt, but the ironic thing about the net [if the underclass have access to] its also the one place where its almost possible if for a minute to not think about whats right at the shoulder always tapping at you,

    that almost touching this possibility that maybe one can reach…but then, you turn and see just how much the reality is also on the net, but it hits you even moreso, because while you know it in the world living it day to day and knowing what the stigmas are,

    when you READ them, spoken in word on the net–it becomes even MORE real,

    that psychological warfare, in other words, you Think you have found solidarity and then yes,

    you see, the mentality and even written out….the “dumb bitch shouldn’t have spread her legs”,

    they may not always come out and say it, just like that, but you can see it, Loud and Clear–

    but whats worse–is then, later those same ones, will applaud the freedom of sexual empowerment of women, escaping marriage and all that b.s.,

    but we know–it doesn’t apply, to us. We are judged,

    by whole other standards and there is no getting away from it.

    They say ignorance is bliss, for the underclass/downtrodden, ignorance of the cyber world truly is bliss–because the extent and widespread real hate towards the undesirables,

    can’t even be masked with a smile over cyberworld…not even.

    thank you for this blog entry–let them loathe our anger–hope they choke on it one day when that anger is unleashed like hell’s fury,

    in meantime, keep helping with the GEDs, you know, the best houses, that look so solid and on strong foundations, those utopic ivory towers,

    one day, only to find…that little things smaller than what the wisest of eyes can see, has shredded that castle to the core–termites eating away

    damage too far gone in many cases, under their very noses, small, despicable creatures termites are,

    every DENT we make–is tearing down that house. Every DENT,

    why they So want to pull us into that illusion, its their clever use of extermination, but wise termites,

    just learn how to maneuver around the exterminators….

    keep assisting in those GEDs, its far more powerful, than PhDs, and they know it.



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