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One A Day® Does Gender

November 19, 2008
“Complete Multivitamins for Teen Boys & Girls to Support:*”

The * is just the standard disclaimer: *This statement has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

One-A-Day is attempting to cash in on gender constructs. According to One-A-Day, “Teen advantage products contain key ingredients to help address the top health concerns of moms and teens.” [My emphasis] Well at least that is their lead in line. The lead in question is “Did you know there are gender specific teen multivitamins to address the top health concerns of moms and teens?” [My emphasis] Yes, yes, it does not matter what gender your teenagers decide to identify with (or assigned to), One-A-Day has a vitamin to help the “boys” achieve healthy muscle function and the “girls”, radiant skin. The two gender essentials are covered!

Because, the boys need big strong muscles (what muscle in particular?) in order to maintain their dominant physical standing in society, and to assure, after slipping a Rohypnol (that one of the little devils got from his non-custodial father, who just came back from a sex tour overseas) in a girl’s drink, so the rest of his team can rape and videotape said rape and later get away with it in court by claiming another girl at the party consented to blowing the whole team (even though, technically, under the law she was not old enough to consent to anything), he will still be able to overpower her because her muscle function has not been developed as his from all of those vitamins and physical activities. By GAWD, her skin will glow though, even under the dim lights of the seedy hotel. Besides, something in those enhancing muscle function vitamins may cause her to eat too much. No one wants to rape a fatty.

Okay, I am just being surly, but come on! To make matters worse, if the teenage “girls” do not understand their future role, One-A-Day makes it clear by the statement, “Teen advantage products contain key ingredients to help address the top health concerns of moms and teens.” [My emphasis] In other words, only adult women, “moms” will be concern about a teenager’s health. At the risk of being too redundant, that top concern being, muscle function (him) and skin (her). Well, “I swan!” So, when/if the teenager becomes ill, more than likely it will be the fault of the mother, not the father, because she did not see to the child’s proper vitamin needs.

Then, if the message is not loud enough, one just has to look at the list of links to the left on the One-A-Day website. There are vitamins available for both men and women, but the vitamin for an “Active Mind & Body” is specifically produce for women, because the default is, a man’s mind and body are always active. Therefore, for a woman to catch up, or attempt to catch up, she will need assistance, a man-made assistance.

One Comment
  1. Anna permalink
    November 23, 2008 5:04 am

    This is all beyond irritating. Gender coded vitamins next!

    As for the "mom" thing – I don't know about you – but I am so SICK & TIRED of the cutesy-fying of mothers as "moms."

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