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Wouldn’t You Like To Be a Dickist Too?

March 10, 2009
Rule #1 All Good Feminists Must Make Sure Everyone Knows They Still Love The Dick!

It is not as if feminist women do not already have the weight of the world on their shoulders, because, you know, men and male-identified women are not listening and just wish feminist women would shut the fuck up already. She (the feminist, gawd forbid if she is a radial feminist) is a total fucking buzz kill with all that clatter about wanting to be treated like a human and all. Knowing this, it seems that the last thing a self-proclaimed feminist would go out of her way and do, is make it known to everyone how much she still lubs the dick.

“I am a feminist but I still love the dick. I lubs falling to my knees. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. See, look at me fetch. I’m a good girl illustrating how naughty I can be, yeah, I’m a kewl unhairy non-lesbian non-spinster non-bitter feminist who likes the dick.”

We get it already. You like the dick. You love the dick. You worship the dick. It is established. In your feminist world, the dick is top dick. We got it. Memo received.

Now can we move on and, perhaps, talk about women? Or could you just be honest with yourself and not call or co-opt the label of feminist? Perhaps dickist is a more suitable identifying descriptor for your ideology.

  1. MargaretJamison permalink
    March 10, 2009 6:36 pm


    Dickist is definitely more apt than “humanist.”

  2. The Fabulous Kitty Glendower permalink
    March 10, 2009 7:02 pm

    Q. What is a pussy-feminist?

    A. A heterosexual man who wears a t-shirt that says feminist on it, because it gets him pussy from dickist-feminists.

  3. The Fabulous Kitty Glendower permalink
    March 10, 2009 7:07 pm

    Or would that make him a pussist?

  4. MargaretJamison permalink
    March 10, 2009 7:16 pm

    Clearly, you’ll never be a dickist-feminist with talk like that. A dickist-feminist NEVER questions the motives of a man calling himself a feminist.

  5. Mary Sunshine permalink
    March 10, 2009 9:35 pm

    Perfect! Dickist has now joined my lexicon.

    You womyn rock.

  6. Shainzona permalink
    March 12, 2009 2:23 am

    Love this post.

    I am a 63 year old feminist for the past 40 years. I have loved The Dick. But only with regard to how it treated me!

    I have had a successful and wonderfurl relationship (it’s marriage, but that’s just a piece of paper) with a man who I will love until I die.

    But I am tired of being all things to all people. I WANT ME! I WANT ONLY THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY!

    And The Dick is sooooo overrated in comparison to the rest of life.

    Sadly, the rest of life is getting killed by the Political and Bankster Dicks. And I no longer “suck” up to them!

  7. stormy permalink
    March 13, 2009 7:02 am

    (copying MJ): Yes, far more apt than humanist!

    Thanks for the post, made me smile.

  8. April 8, 2009 3:00 am

    I’ve never understood the fauxminist tendency to go on and on and on about one’s sex life like it means a damn thing. Why so insecure that you need to tell the world how much fun you’re having? Will that make it truer? Does it feel better if the universe knows? You like dick, well that’s just lovely, now move on to something important.

    I mean… priorities for heaven’s sake. And not producing an atmosphere in which women who have been harmed by the owner of a dick feel uncomfortable and unwelcome as they are unable to join in The Fun really ought to be on your to-do list.


  9. April 8, 2009 3:01 am

    Woah, that was some confusing syntax. When I get mad I get incomprehensible!

  10. April 8, 2009 1:26 pm

    ‘Priorities’ is exactly right, Laurelin. And women like that make theirs quite clear: swooning over male attention is more important than ending male supremacy. If ending patriarchy means they can’t continue being fuckbots, well by god, they’ll just stay fuckbots.

    And a roar of cheers and applause erupts from the anti-feminists.

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