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Your Side / My Side

April 15, 2009

I really wish many women would have the audacity to have opinions/convictions and express those opinions/convictions without allowing those opinions to be first filtered through the screen of who she likes or doesn’t like or has a beef with or doesn’t have a beef with. It is elementary. You have your own opinion about something or you don’t (and of course that opinion can always change with growth and knowledge, but, let’s not pretend it suddenly changes when someone you don’t like starts expressing your exact opinion). If you don’t like the person who is expressing the exact opinion that you would normally agree with, either shut the fuck up if you know you cannot add your two cents in without revealing your dislike for that person, or suck it up and check that shit and continue on with the opinion that you know you would most certainly agree with if it was not coming from someone you have an issue with. To contort yourself, just to oppose someone you don’t like, is immature, counterproductive, and cannot possibly be mentally healthy. 

Of course, I had to decide which author to put this under because naturally, I am well hated (and possibly Margie is too but by different people than those who hate me), maybe we should have a mystery author. Good gawd, sure I am hated. Nothing new, my family hates me. They most certainly do, because GAWD forbid I ask Holly with as little sarcasm and dishonesty in my voice that I can muster, if it is correct that she is trying to fix my daughter up with a man who does not have a job, recovering from knee surgery (an accident that happened while doing something he had no business doing), and hits his sister. No, gawd forbid I don’t indulge the delusion. Gawd forbid, I don’t play along because everyone is playing along. No. No. No. I’m the difficult one, the ——–crazy BITCH!. Because, by questioning Holly and making her say the words, say what type of man she is willing to push on my daughter is in some round about way an affront on her. An insult. An attack. I am with my evil ways making her look at the shit she eats from Steve (although, that was never in my thoughts). Therefore, instead of her refusing to eat Steve’s shit, it is easier to get rid of me. It is a tried and true way of getting rid of women like me, —you burn them, you squeeze them out, you ostracized them, you HATE them, so then, only then, the noise can stop and everything can return to the comfort zone. The rut of no change.

 Now, I am a petty, grudge-holding bastard myself. Yes, yes, I am. But, I like to believe that over the years I have developed a sense of what to do with my pettiness and grudge holding. For example, on the net, if I hate your ass enough to have a grudge or if I am unable to control my pettiness I will either ignore you altogether or, if I try to get along with you and cannot manage it, I will tell you to Fuck off. My loss, right? But, what I will not do, is contort my opinions, opinions on record, just to passive-aggressively oppose someone I cannot stand. I will reserve the right to change my opinions with growth, but still, never will I claim a change because it coincidentally opposes a person I do not like. As I said, I will just leave that person alone. To not leave them alone, to purposely contort yourself in order to oppose is frankly, —abusive. One needs, must control one’s pettiness before it turns into abuse; if not, the cycle continues. But, apparently, I haven’t got the memo. It seems to be in style to indulge delusions and excuse and support blatant hypocrisy, —abusive contortions. That, I just cannot get over. It should not be that serious. Honestly, I have to wonder, where does one’s integrity hide when the pretzel-ing begins?

 “Oh, but in Heaven’s name, what are you going on about, {{{you crazy bitch}}?”—asked, Fragile Femme.


  1. Polly Styrene permalink
    April 15, 2009 6:44 pm

    “Difficult” often means “is unwilling to lie to make life easier”. In my experience, anyway.

  2. The Fabulous Kitty Glendower permalink*
    April 15, 2009 7:04 pm

    I know right. It’s like, “I know you filed a sexual harassment/discrimination grievance against us, and we admit that we can do better with training and such, but, we think it is in your [and our] best interest to take advantage of our corporate sponsored and paid for month long retreat on, ‘How to be less difficult.’” Or in more sane circles, “How to suck dick and not complain about it.”

  3. April 15, 2009 8:30 pm

    Convictions are merely a popularity contest for a lot of people. No one wants to follow truths to their logical conclusions if it means siding with people you don’t *like* very much. They’d rather keep the company they keep while spouting enough rhetoric to sooth their own consciences.

    It’s why radical feminists, for example, aren’t supported when we (or, I, rather) object to being called “hateful bitches,” even in otherwise feminist company – because the liberal feminists don’t *like* the radical feminists. Even when we’re talking about something as simple and uncontested as not calling women bitches, people will oppose it if it means “standing up to” a woman they don’t like.

    • The Fabulous Kitty Glendower permalink*
      April 15, 2009 8:43 pm

      It’s why radical feminists, for example, aren’t supported when we (or, I, rather) object to being called “hateful bitches,” even in otherwise feminist company – because the liberal feminists don’t *like* the radical feminists. Even when we’re talking about something as simple and uncontested as not calling women bitches, people will oppose it if it means “standing up to” a woman they don’t like.

      Perfect example. Every fucking feminist on the planet should have been on that. But, no, holding on to pettiness, personal dislike and making a woman they have a problem with suffer, is more important than actually, you know, combating, sexism and misogyny.

  4. Mary Sunshine permalink
    April 15, 2009 8:50 pm

    Chuckling at your Fragile Femme link. 😀

  5. atheistwoman permalink
    April 15, 2009 9:02 pm

    You are very right about being “difficult.” I cannot tell you how many times I have been informed I needed to suck dick and not complain about it…bllrg.

    And mwah, because I am evol, I know what you are talking about. I think.

    Also, I am a Me-too! :-).

    • atheistwoman permalink
      April 15, 2009 9:03 pm

      And I was referring to the post, with the me knowing what you were talking about.

  6. atheistwoman permalink
    April 15, 2009 10:16 pm

    You didn’t notice us hiding under your desk this whole time?

    Roy’s not a desk rabbit, he’s my best friend!

  7. atheistwoman permalink
    April 15, 2009 10:17 pm (axual desk rabbit scene).

  8. kamododragon permalink
    April 16, 2009 2:53 pm

    I just wish that women, feminist,lesbian and intersex people have the audacity to stand up to the transgender community and I wish they can stand up to the male mentality in the world. I wish we can push back on all this PC nonsense.

    Though that is the problem with this world. You can’t say your own opinions without offending anyone in the slightest bit. You can’t even speak up without offending someone. It seems that we now live in a world where everyone has to be included and opinions do not matter anymore. It seems that the world has gone soft or gone PC.

  9. April 16, 2009 3:35 pm

    This seems like one of those blog posts whereby the author thinks that everyone who reads her blog also hangs out at the same blogs/places and will understand what specific act the blogger is referring to.

    I’m always clueless.

    But nevermind, the example Margie gave about the “bitch” issue was good, and it helped clarify what you meant. This kind of shit happens at my workplace, too. Supervisor stepped down and is now a grunt like the rest of us. However, she keeps all of the privilege she had before…prime vacation time, extra responsibilities that give her overtime (while everyone else is berated to work faster so we don’t get any overtime, although there is too much work to get done in 8 hours working at normal human pace), etc.

    Anyway, although what she is doing is not kosher, the administration won’t back us up, because she is still considered one of their own, and they won’t side with the hoi polloi, even if it’s justified. They just keep letting her get away with shit.

  10. The Fabulous Kitty Glendower permalink*
    April 16, 2009 6:04 pm

    Oh Bonobobabe let’s not be such a literalist. 🙂 The same was demanded of (a senior class) once when we were learning Literary Theory. It was asserted that westerns get tripped up on if something is true or not, if there are facts supporting it or not, etc. That’s why I like to stick with stories (as I stated in the About the Authors section). We don’t have to personally know the characters or know where or how, –just a general tale. As you have done by seeing how Margie’s example applies.

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