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Stop Lying!

April 21, 2009
The Mill Horse Goes Round and Round

The Mill Horse Goes Round and Round

I really want to know where some people’s integrity goes when they decide to lie.  What makes lying so fucking seductive that some people will do it for no foreseeable reason other than to lie?  I don’t get it!  I understand lying when trying to get out of trouble (not that I condone the act or have never done just that) but, I do not understand lying just because you can.

A while back, there was a woman who lied on a forum (forum 1).  Margie had written a post about something and this lying woman went to the forum and claimed that Margie had written the post about her, as in, her specifically, as in no one else but her. Although Margie (as far as I know) has never interacted with the woman or read the woman on the board, for some reason this woman felt it was okay to lie and say our blog had a post specifically written about her.  Even after several people told her that she was wrong, she continued the lie.  She carried the lie over and nursed the lie. She used that lie to justify little attacks, to feign victim status whenever she found an opportunity to do so. And naturally, anyone who didn’t like me personally, would side with her for no other reason, even if siding required them to take an opposing position than what they would have normally taken. The whole, “The enemy of my enemy is my friend, even if I have to become a hypocritical pretzel.” (<—-, poor thing.) I just wish the “enemy” (me) actually knew she was an enemy, then perhaps there could be some fun made out of it.  Nevertheless, some people just fabricate enemies, for reasons unknown.  It is not as if we as women don’t have enough enemies already, you know.

Then today, I find out that Margie is being excluded from a blog because I supposedly attacked the blog author on a forum (forum 2).  I had never interacted with the alleged victim, so I went to investigate.  Sure enough, I had not attacked the woman; I had not even addressed or alluded to her.  Apparently, it is perfectly acceptable to immediately jump from, “Were you talking about me?” to “She was talking about me.” Not to mention the divisive attempt at trying to pit Margie and I against each other (incidentally, it was attempted this past week in comments here as well).  The demands seems to go like this, “If you want to hang out with me, you will reprimand her.”  Women who truly love other women, will not succumb to the pitting against each other technique.

It is not that difficult.  I read shit that cut me to the bone all the fucking time.  ALL THE FUCKING TIME! I cannot recall when I have ever said to myself, “Kitty, she is talking about you, personally.  She is attacking you, specifically.” NEVER. (Well, maybe when I was an adolescent.)  I have said, “Kitty, I think that may apply to you a little too much and since it makes you uncomfortable, perhaps you should work on that.” But, to try and alleviate that uncomfortable feeling by lying on the person who wrote something uncomfortable and telling others that that person did in fact write about me, is totally unacceptable and dishonest.  If I lied and said someone was talking about me (and they were not) it would be nothing more than trying to get that person to shut up, to get them to stop making me feel uncomfortable.  To lie on her,  would be a passive aggressive way of trying to make it all return to the comfort level I felt before I read what she had written. I don’t take kindly to ungrowth.

  1. April 21, 2009 8:03 pm

    For the record, it will die when that lie is retracted and we are apologized to. Until then, I will remember the lie told on this blog, and the second lie told on me, and no, it will not eat me up.

  2. April 21, 2009 8:33 pm

    The whole thing was just so bizarre to me when you told me that woman was claiming I wrote a post about her. Anyone can just ask Renee or Twisty whether or not I leave any doubts as to whom I’m writing about. Jeez.

    And the fact that other people stood up for her lie, and continued to stand up for her long after the lie was revealed as the falsehood that it was, just astounds me. It’s like some women aren’t willing to just admit that they worked themselves into a tizzy over nothing; they’ve got to keep the tizzy going just so there won’t be any wasted outrage, I guess.

  3. April 21, 2009 9:01 pm

    Yeah and the lying puts me in a tizzy. Just fucking stop lying already. It is not that difficult.

  4. keen permalink
    April 21, 2009 9:11 pm

    This reminds me of the roommate I had one year in college. Whenever I would be reading a book or something on my computer, and would laugh at something especially funny, she would immediately get all worried/panicked and ask “Are you laughing at me?” And even after my usual “Uh… no?” she would clearly not believe me. Like I was actually only pretending to read all that time and was in reality just staring at her for hours. I can’t even imagine being that self-centered.

    • April 21, 2009 11:02 pm

      And Keen, it is astounding how she could not imagine what position that put you in. Here she was, saying you were in fact laughing at her and no matter what you said it could not convince her otherwise. In other words, you were going to be her attacker no matter what. People should really examine why it is that they NEED an attacker.

      I was just talking to Margie the other day about something similar. A regret I have with an ex-friend. We were at my daughter’s birthday party and she just wigged out. No one knows what happened or why. Then, I reacted (defensively) and then it just went down hill from there. Later, after the dust settled I tried to put all the pieces together and I concluded that because she had only known abuse in relationships she created the abuse almost out of a need. Like a good relationship was too much for her to handle.

      Now, I am convinced that some people are not necessarily trying to work through past abuse. Instead, they simply need a fabricated attack because that is all they know. Like an old mill horse that just goes around and around whether he is yoked or not.

    • keen permalink
      April 22, 2009 7:39 pm

      I think it’s less about specifically needing an attacker than about needing attention at all times. They believe they’re the center of everyone’s universe and are desperate to maintain that belief. So anything said about an unspecified person must be about them, because everything is about them, and it is of course utterly impossible that person might have no idea who they are. They’re the center of the universe! Everyone knows who they are.

      In such a person’s mind:
      ‘that person is attacking me!’ > ‘that person is paying no attention to me, even for a moment’

      And in our examples:
      ‘that meanie post was about me!’ > ‘the blogger has no idea who I am’
      ‘she’s laughing at me!’ > ‘she’s reading a funny book, and not thinking about me at all’
      ‘me making a scene in the middle of this party’ > ‘people paying attention to the person whose birthday it is, instead of me’

  5. April 21, 2009 10:56 pm

    This post … all about me ….


    Actually, I don’t even have a clue as to the other people/forums involved 😛

    • April 21, 2009 11:03 pm

      Someone had to go there. Who better than you Stormy? 🙂

    • April 21, 2009 11:09 pm

      I make it my mission in life – to go there! (anywhere really)

      102% evol. I am secretly more evol than that styrene woman (don’t tell her)

  6. April 21, 2009 11:14 pm

    I am secretly more evol than that styrene woman…

    Yeah, because I heard Morrissey needs more cow bell.

    LMAO! I imagine a stranger reading that above line and asking what the fuck does that mean? Which I would respond. I. Don’t. Know. But, yes, we do, we all know, it means something but we just cannot put our finger on it.

  7. sparklematrix permalink
    April 21, 2009 11:18 pm

    Excuse me…the evol is about me.

    (disclaimer – I don’t have a scoob who you are talking about but I heard the word evol, and responded)

  8. atheistwoman permalink
    April 22, 2009 12:50 am

    I know who you are talking about…and erm she is reallllly going to be paranoid now.

    • April 22, 2009 3:21 am

      For real. She will have good and plenty ammunition to talk about how she was singled out and tormented. Her recent passive-aggressive “me-too” and nothing of substance to add, behavior has absolutely nothing to do with it.

  9. atheistwoman permalink
    April 22, 2009 3:31 am

    The me-tooism you are referring to was completely inappropriate, and quite frankly (the word frankly always signals AW is about to be an asshole, watch out!) embarrassing.

  10. atheistwoman permalink
    April 22, 2009 3:31 am

    Then again, I am rather the Me-Too myself. Oh well! :-).

    • April 22, 2009 3:36 am

      There is an art form to me-tooism and amateurs should not attempt it. Because the object of expertise me-tooism is not to look like me-tooism. When it appears obvious, then the me-too is recognized for what she is. Ghastly business actually. One would think frauds were up on the various veils.

  11. Polly Styrene permalink
    April 22, 2009 6:44 am

    Ha I’ve found out you think you’re more evol than me Stormy you are BANNED from my blog.

    • April 22, 2009 2:02 pm

      mwahahahahhah! You is oppressing me – me and my inner evolness!

      Stop using your cis-evol privilege!

  12. April 22, 2009 2:04 pm

    Now come to think of it, this thread is also oppressing me too.

    Because I wanna make stuff up aka “define my own reality”.
    And of course, the thread was about me me me all along.

  13. April 22, 2009 3:48 pm

    Funny how Renee is sooo upset that Perez Hilton called Ms California a bitch! I guess it is not okay for him to call a White Woman a bitch, but it is okay for a Black Woman to call another Black Woman one?

    • April 22, 2009 4:07 pm

      That Renee should open up a pretzel stand outside of Penn Station. She will never have to worry about output, because she pushes the pretzels out faster than Lucy and Ethel in a chocolate-candy factory.

  14. atheistwoman permalink
    April 22, 2009 4:13 pm

    Naah Rose, she called white women bitches too. It’s probably just the male-acceptable women she has to protect.

  15. April 22, 2009 8:34 pm

    How do you like the picture of the mill horse? To the right is a man, by the way, but I erased any indication that someone could use to assign him a race-color, in an attempt to avoid a diversion, such as——“Is she implying that (insert color of man) does not oppress women the way (insert color of man) does.” Oh, gawd, but then I will have to worry about, “Is she implying that women are horses.” The behavior darlings, the behavior is what is being studied!

    • April 22, 2009 10:14 pm

      But you used white blobs to cover him up.

      Best to use green. The colour of aliens…

  16. Polly Styrene permalink
    April 22, 2009 9:38 pm

    I thought you were trying to conceal his identity….But I get the going round in circles thing. You could have used a hamster, but only if there were no people with it.

  17. January 4, 2011 10:36 pm

    Maybe we should boost this post up to the top. It seems relevant right about now.

  18. Mary Sunshine permalink
    January 5, 2011 12:44 am

    Note to self: avoid women who are addicted to stress hormones and subterfuge.

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