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MTF Plays the MRA, “It Could Be Worse” Card

June 24, 2009

I’ve decided to churn out this last post focusing on recent MTF behavior in response to my post calling for MTFs to clean up their own backyards before they demand access to female space. I mean really, I need to move on because their frantically cyclic antics are ridiculous. The argument is always the same.  It has no logic, it is all just, “Wahhhh I feel like a woman so you should indulge my delusions” and “Look how mean she is, while I totally refuse to address the topic that I was born male, raised with male privilege, and totally expect women to accommodate my every desire. Also,  I refuse to hold non-transsexual men accountable for mistreating and murdering us.”  That’s right.  If you missed it the first time, I will say it again, MTFs, the very men who were born male and raised with male privilege expect to appropriate women spaces instead of rehabilitating his fellow brothers and demanding safe space from them. Just like a baby boy sucking on his mommy’s tit, he continues to go through life expecting women (FAB) to fight his battles for him, to move over and welcome him into our already susceptible spaces.  Apparently, there are not enough liberal-feminists fighting the good fight for him.  Now he expects/demands all women (FAB) to put down our needs and pick up his desires.

Nevertheless:

Men have been playing the “It Could be Worse” card for years, especially western male born misogynists.  You know how it goes, a western female points out whatever, then the western male retorts with, “What are you complaining about, look at those women in Iran (or fill in the blank with whatever country that comes to his mind first). Typical Diversionary Tactics 101.

And of course, MTFs are no exception when it comes to using this tactic. It is learned behavior reinforced by patriarchy and/or possibly innate, —extracted and strengthened with patriarchal  reinforcement.  By the time they are adults and can start the transitioning process, male entitlement has been ingrained in their bones.  For example, pissed at my post, C.L. Minou tries to argue how he is not the enemy to women, however, when making this claim he reveals his own male privilege.  Not to mention how he tries to capitalize on his own self-determined exceptionalism.

You see? I am so the real enemy here, not nutcase guys who want to–literally, and on so many levels–colonize women.

He is referring to a comment that a MRA wrote on another MRA’s blog.

I found all of this when I followed the links revealing how Minou stole my entire post and labeled it an excerpt (he has since redacted some of it).  Minou directs his readers to a MRA site in order to demonstrate how life for women (FAB)  like me could be worse, so, I should be grateful that he (the MTF) is not as bad as the MRAs.   The MRA’s  site has a commenter that informs other MRA readers about a clinic in India that uses poor women to make babies for western men.  The MRA commenter likes this idea because he can bring that baby back to the United States without the baggage of a mother.  Minou did not just stumble upon this MRA site,  but followed a series of MRA links to arrive there. Why is he so interested in MRAs? Tips?

Here is the MRAs comment:

For less than $10,000 they will provide you with an egg donor and another woman who will happily be the surrogate mother (they are usually poor women who already have children and are only in it for the cash).

So you send your sperm to India via DHL, and 9 months later you have your first-born, with no state-empowered gate-keeping mother standing between you and the next generation of your line. Apparently you don’t need to go to India at any point. (I don’t know what name would appear on the birth certificate for mother – preferably there would be none).

This is how you reseed patriarchy.

The MRA  has labeled the poor Indian woman’s womb artificial.  What better way to justify exploitation than to dehumanize a person by replacing their whole existence with just the part of their body that the MRA wants to exploit,—and then call that part artificial!  On what planet, would a person who is supposedly an ally to women, some even claiming to be feminist themselves,  direct people to a site that is advocating the exploitation of poor women of color?  The meme that MTFs are WOC friendly is continuously touted all over the net, but,  I guess that alliance only goes so far.

The only point he made by directing his readers to that site is that men can and do exploit women. Duh. Look in a mirror.  Incidentally, if I were to put on my tinfoil hat, I would say, it was his way of letting other MTFs  know where they can buy themselves a uterus.  Don’t act as if that has not been suggested already by a MTF.  But of course I can no longer link to it, because Anji did her patriarchal duty and deleted all the posts concerning that particular brouhaha.

But I do have to say Minou provided me with a little comedy. He bandies about the word enemy freer than Dick Cheney did in security briefings. His post title calls me  the enemy, yet, being snarky he claims himself as the enemy, and then he directs his readers to the real enemy, —the misogynist MRA.

29 Comments
  1. June 24, 2009 7:34 am

    “It could be worse…”

    Yup, a very common phrase used by teh menz, not just the MRAs. Basically the phrase is an excuse and enabler, so that menz can go about doing whatever they want to do without modifying their behaviour. It literally translates to “STFU woman”.

    So any woman in a het relationship carrying the weight of the entire relationship (housework, childcare, emotion well being of the relationship) should STFU and be very very grateful for the lazy slob that is in residence because “it could be worse [at least he doesn’t beat you]”. *gee thanks*

  2. June 24, 2009 9:32 am

    Oh, and all the chickenshit women who call themselves radical feminists have used the MTF’s woman-hating site to display their internalized misogyny anonymously. We all know the crazy woman meme. If sneaking around the net and using anonymous monikers is therapeutic for these chickenshits, I am glad to be of service. Someone has to help them, because they are obviously too lost and weak to help themselves.

    Too bad that they don’t use their familiar names to get credit for the good woman vs bad woman point system though. No reason to waste that opportunity.

    Here’s the comment:

    June 23, 2009 6:45 PM
    Anonymous said…
    Seriously – Kitty is crazy. There are plenty of rad fem blogs that welcome trans women. Keep AROOO on your google reader though – it is great for a laugh.

    Love
    Your Friendly Neighbourhood Rad Fem

    See what is in our ranks. How can we get anywhere when there are so many women who simply hate women? If I were indeed crazy, what type of feminist would find that funny? Who is really the crazy and inhumane one?

    • pisaquaririse permalink
      June 24, 2009 2:27 pm

      Great points kitty.

      “Your Friendly Neighbourhood Rad Fem” ?!?!?!?!?!

      Sounds like one of those infamous fembloggy fence-sitters whose sole mission it is to demonize other womyn by always proving she *HUGZ* more people.

    • June 24, 2009 8:26 pm

      Not to mention how quick her type comes out when the one who needs a hug is a male. But, according to her, she is a feminist. LOL!

  3. June 24, 2009 11:44 am

    Ugh, the whole thing is just ridiculous. Male people will always exploit female people reproductively, through rape, politics, law. I don’t know why anyone thinks cutting off a penis changes this.

    Of course, when I brought up concerns about the further exploitation of poor nonwhite women around the world by males feeling entitled to a uterus, no one had anything at all to say, least of all so-called “rad fems” like the one Kitty quoted.

    And to what end? The MTFs know as well as I know who holds the radical, get down to the root and do something about it, stance on misogyny. No amount of “I’m a radfem who’ll suck your dick!” will make the MTFs believe that your dick-sucking is where the real radical feminism is. Which is why, of course, they’re all over here copying, pasting, and having conniptions over what Kitty and I are writing. Having conversations, over and over and over again, about what Kitty and I are writing. Talking amongst themselves about how people like us need to change so that they can feel comfortable in the world. They will never leave us alone. They will continue to devote more energy to attempting to tear down the female-centered analysis, in the few places in which it actually takes place, than they will doing anything for or about females. And “good girls” like the one Kitty quoted will continue to help them.

    And, yeah, whenever I think someone is less than mentally sound and fit, I’m content to leave them the hell alone if I can’t manage any compassion. I certainly don’t go out of my way to hear what they’re saying or see what they’re doing. And if I did, it wouldn’t be for a laugh (humorless, you know). So, what that implies to me is that these people are either so sadomasochistic as to truly derive pleasure from the words of insane women, or, they don’t really think we’re crazy after all. And it’s just a pathetic little playground jaunt. I yawn.

    • June 24, 2009 8:29 pm

      They will continue to devote more energy to attempting to tear down the female-centered analysis, in the few places in which it actually takes place, than they will doing anything for or about females. And “good girls” like the one Kitty quoted will continue to help them.

      Men don’t have to lift a finger. I think the biggest insult is when these women claim they are feminists. Why? Why claim it at all? Why not say, “We want to nurse the menz and call it a day”? Why the big charade?

  4. unmarrieddaughter permalink
    June 24, 2009 11:51 am

    “..Kitty is crazy”

    This shit drives me absolutely rage filled crazy, the type of crazy that makes me want throw dishes at walls and scream for hours.

    Women betraying other women to the enemy(men or in this case, MTF). No w, I am the type of person that I can be fair, and see my enemy’s point about my tribalmembers this time but I would never let my enemy see me disagree with another woman in public. No, that shit we do privately, because the world is so stacked against us, that we have to present united, or failing that at least not call another woman crazy.

    I am not about revoking anyone’s feminist card, and there is room for disagreement by everyone because we all have that right, but the line is freaking drawn for me when another woman, especially one who says she is radfem, calls another woman crazy, and other such things. Especially to score points with another man, and even though I am working through this whole MTF thing(you all are challenging my assumed beliefs on being liberally feministically supportive of transgender and its hard work) a man who may mutilate(surgically alter*) his body to be a woman, but still thinks like a privileged male.

    *see, I am really working on that whole “supportive of transgenders” and seeing transgender as something, um, I going to say “wrong”, but that isn’t the word I want. It’s difficult.

    • June 24, 2009 2:35 pm

      Yes UMD, it is about presenting a united front “out there” and disagreeing/brainstorming/freethinking in more private spheres.

      So, what the fuck is up with this latest round of “good radfems” vs “bad radfems” shit? Frankly, anyone calling themselves a good radfem probably isn’t a radfem at all, sounds very manz-pleasing libfem to me.

      As an aside, have you noticed far more fracturing of the radfem blogosphere since MTF became topic du jour? Frankly if I were to look at the whole mess from the outside, I would be inclined to say that Patriarchy has sent in its cannon-fodder in the form of MTF, and specifically for the result that seems to be happening. Most females are programmed to put males first, and some are falling for it hook-line-and-sinker as they rally support for The Mostest Oppressedest Woman (is MTF) and again FAB females get put to the bottom of the list. Fuck that noise.

      As I said somewhere or other (polly’s I think), either MTF are the same as FAB (and therefore do not need any special rights above FAB, and any gains that FABs make will benefit MTF) or they are different to FABs, so need special rights and there is no point maintaining they are exactly the same as FABs (and therefore FABs need FAB-only spaces unless advertised otherwise).

      Oh damn, I just realised I have been using “MTF” as the abbreviation. It is of course MTW (man to woman), or possibly MTFF (male to female facsimilie). Sorry folks, but you can’t change the biology … if you have to keep taking drugs to appear woman/female, then it is a facsimilie of femaleness, not true femaleness. Or male-woman.

      It’s Wednesday. I was overdue for throwing the kat among the pigeons.
      Obviously not one of the “good radfems”. *shrug*

  5. June 24, 2009 11:54 am

    It’s OK, unmarrieddaughter, about not feeling like you have the right words. You can absolutely work it out, here. We are not going to place the feelings of transgendered males above the expansion of your awareness.

    And, I think “wrong” is right 🙂

  6. June 24, 2009 12:10 pm

    I think this, from that comment thread, says it all:

    Oh, I’m sorry, that’s right–they [those same 2 transgendered men who are always trotted out whenever the tranz need a rallying banner) were all killed. So was Brandon Teena, but you see it’s ok to feel bad about that–he was really a woman, you know.

    Why does that rankle so? Seriously, what the hell is wrong with giving more of a damn about a female person than any male person? The fact that they just can’t stand this is evidence enough for me that they don’t give a shit about female people, or misogyny in general. Otherwise they’d appreciate the reversal of the status quo.

    Secondly, there is no evidence whatsoever that Teena Brandon was transgendered. There is evidence, though, that she had plenty of reason to want to escape femininity and femaleness, due to what happens to girls and women under male supremacy. The Questioning Transgender site used to have a really good article on that tragedy; it’s such a shame it’s gone now.

  7. kamododragon permalink
    June 24, 2009 2:35 pm

    This also reminds me how the transgender men & women, especially the younger ones who are out their trying to appropriate and claim intersex all for their own good. Their are even younger ones who are out claiming that intersex people are part of them and they are using their male power and male mindset to do the damage to the intersex community as well.

    • June 24, 2009 2:39 pm

      Yes KD, the intersex community are as pissed off as the “bad radfems” are.

      See my comment above about same/different.

      But frankly, trans are completely different to intersex. Trans are transitioning from one ‘gender’ to another, not aiming for an ambiguous position in the middle of either gender or sex.

    • kamododragon permalink
      June 24, 2009 5:00 pm

      Well Stormy, I see it in the younger tranz who aim their sights on the intersex people. The reason for this, is because for intersex people, were exempt from seeing a shrink and tranz people think that by claiming intersex, they can skirt the shrink and get what they want at the expense of the intersex community.

  8. June 24, 2009 7:01 pm

    I thought the Teena Brandon article was going to be published somewhere. I will try to find out about that from Carolyn and get back to y’all, because it is really a great article. Maybe she will give me permission to put it in the library.

    And WRT to the international surrogacy “reseeding patriarchy” thing — OMG. Just, fuck. Not sure where to start so I’m just throwing this out at random but:
    1) Do they really think that a birth certificate with no mother listed means that the child actually HAS no mother? Reality is reality, little pieces of paper notwithstanding.
    2) Do they realize their precious little heirs will not be white?
    3) I am sickened by the idea of these assholes raising children and all its implications.
    4) Do these assholes really honestly think they are going to raise these kids? I mean, do they have any idea what that entails, why their brethren have been so eager to leave the job to women all these millenia? Or will they be hiring a third world nanny to do the dirty work, once again outsourcing their responsibilities to women/WoC?
    5) Do they really think raising a kid without a mother determines in any way at all how that child will turn out? All they need do is look at all the “feminists” who are so convinced they can create the new generation of kinder, gentler men and end up raising rapists anyway. All their little girl children could end up being nasty radical feminists due to all the abuse and grodity their MRA daddies heaped upon them during their childhood. Not all abused women are radicals by a long shot but male abuse sure can help the process along. As the button says, “I wasn’t born a bitch; men like you made me this way.” Unless maybe they’re going to send the girls back as defective; but then they wouldn’t have a defenseless little female around to prey on sexually and emotionally.

    God, the fucking assholes. What are we doing about that virus again?

  9. Mary Sunshine permalink
    June 24, 2009 7:33 pm

    What are we doing about that virus again?

    You mean that virus that attacks only cells bearing the Y chromosome?

  10. June 24, 2009 7:44 pm

    🙂 Yeah, that one.

  11. June 24, 2009 8:31 pm

    The Teena Brandon article will be in an upcoming issue of Trivia. I’ll be sure to link to it when it does.

  12. June 24, 2009 8:34 pm

    Oh, and I forgot to say, completely in agreement with Kitty, stormy, and everyone WRT there being no such thing as a “good” radical feminist. Radical feminists don’t suck dick, literally or metaphorically. Period. Hence we are all by definition “bad” and only get approval from each other, if that. 🙂

    • June 25, 2009 8:19 am

      Radical feminists don’t suck dick, literally or metaphorically. Period.

      Exactly. That is why radical feminism will NEVER be regarded as manz-friendly. It is not even about compromise with teh menz.

  13. June 24, 2009 9:56 pm

    Couldn’t it be the case that both CL Minou AND the MRAs are enemies of women’s freedom?

    • June 24, 2009 10:37 pm

      Couldn’t it be the case that both CL Minou AND the MRAs are enemies of women’s freedom?

      After I spent so many words, punched the air, grabbed for and tried to hold it down, Amy, you were able to catch and tackle it to the ground just like that. That is it, isn’t it? Males are enemies of women’s freedom.

  14. June 24, 2009 10:40 pm

    Well shucks thanks, but I was just rereading CL’s comments that you quoted and thought, methinks someone doth protest a bit too much.

    Or something.

  15. AVelarde permalink
    July 2, 2009 12:08 am

    I am only beginning to learn about radical feminism. But it seems so simple to me. We want men to stop raping women. And to do that we only need to look beyond ourselves, for certainly no matter how safe and privileged we think we are, there are countless more women and female children being raped both inside and outside our homes and workplaces. And no woman and female child are truly safe. And any kind of abuse and hatred towards women qualifies as rape. If I were a man and really, truly cared about women, even to the point of being deluded enough to desire to become a woman, I would kill myself. And being a woman, I choose not to give birth to a rapist. But a lot of women do not have that choice and the more privileged we are, the more power and strength we must be willing to share with other women. I find it baffling why people assign so much hatred on radical feminism when it is the most rational and compassionate thought and movement there is. I am Asian and live in the Third World and I have yet to meet someone in my country who espouses or shares the same values. Reading your work; thoughts; arguments is exceedingly important to me. Thank you.

  16. July 2, 2009 1:43 am

    Hi, AVelarde!

    I am so glad to see you comment. Welcome, welcome, welcome 🙂

    Not very many women here in the US espouse these ideas, either. I wish there were a way for us all, we separatists, we women who see the truth, to get together in real life. There are so few of us.

    You are right that privileged women should share power and strength with women who have less than we do. Of course, many western women think that sharing power and strength means giving just enough food, or money, or clothes to help them survive to the next day, without changing anything at all about their circumstances – without changing the fact of their need for assistance. I think they need those things, of course, but I also think they need more. I hope that the sharing of ideas and psychic energy might provide some of what women need in order to actually be able to force a change in their conditions.

    Thank you so much for your kind words about radical feminism. Don’t be a stranger, AVelarde. I hope you’ll continue to participate in the discussion.

  17. July 2, 2009 1:50 am

    I wish there were a way for us all, we separatists, we women who see the truth, to get together in real life.

    SRSLY? Can do. At least, can start. 🙂

    • atheistwoman permalink
      July 2, 2009 3:12 am

      I would be very interested in something like that, if push came to shove…

  18. AVelarde permalink
    July 2, 2009 2:07 am

    Thank you, Margaret for the warm welcome. 🙂

    I agree, charity, in its material form and manifestation is imperialistic and colonial. And we really do give to feel good about ourselves. Or to ingratiate ourselves with others or even just to earn good karma.

    You all do such important work, all of you, and I am learning everyday. Again, much thanks. I will stop now for fear of sounding too fawning.

  19. Imaginary permalink
    April 24, 2010 12:20 pm

    This “It Could Be Worse” shtick doesn’t even make sense. It could be worse for men too if they had railroad spikes in their pricks, but that doesn’t mean that a broken leg is something to rejoice.

    The “rights” we’ve been “granted” such as not being raped (ha!), get paid the same wage for working the same job (ha!), and being able to speak without being shut down (again, ha!) can easily be taken away which is why they are not “rights” they are privileges. A man saying “It Could Be Worse” is just rubbing his dick in our faces by saying “We men can take away everything you hold dear like that if you don’t shut the fuck up”.

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