Clearing Up A Few Wrong Details of Mine
Recently I was reading at a forum in which a so-called feminist started a thread pretending to be obtuse about what another woman had said (and this is written only so people who know what forum will know what I am talking about. If you do not know, you can move on to the second thing I was wrong about further down the page). I say pretending to be obtuse because there is a difference (at least to me) between pretending to be obtuse, being obtuse, and flat out being stupid. The difference being, stupid is stupid. If a person is stupid, she or he will never be able to comprehend. However, if the person is obtuse, she or he upon further exploration and outside explanation may understand what is being presented. But, being obtuse is different than pretending to be obtuse. Pretending to be obtuse requires malice. It is sort of like the concept of “concerned troll.” As in, the person most certainly do understand, she or he just wants to use the “I don’t seem to understand what she is saying” line in order to point everyone in the direction of the person saying whatever it is that supposedly cannot be understood by the usually intelligent person.
Anyway, I would have just left it alone, or at the very most pointed out to her how she has not apply the same degree of scrutiny to other women who have behaved/participated in the same matter in the past. Of course, that part of my comment was deleted, because only certain women can be protected from scornful criticism. And even my little desire to point it out may have been limited to a personal message or an email. It was not until I saw that a man was getting his rocks off and throwing in his two cents about how if it were not for other women he would have never even bother giving a particular woman a read and how it was another woman’s fault about another matter that everyone, even the men who did it and brag about doing it knows that it was men who did it. His ass was sitting up in there with his feet on the coffee table talking shit about women, and not one woman, not one woman put him in his place. No, it seems that sucking dick is okay if the man sprinkles a little sugar and nutmeg on his penis first or whatever seasoning the women around him like most. Or, I should say sucking dick is acceptable if it provides an opportunity to talk trash about another woman, especially a woman who associates with the likes of us. So, no, I’m not buying the “I just don’t understand what she is saying. Can someone help me understand” routine, when the rest of the conversation proved that she only wanted an opportunity to trash the woman from the start.
Enough of that back-story, and on to what I was wrong about, I accused him of using a woman’s name wrong. I did check the name of her blog before I left the comment and the name of her blog is a three-word compound with the last of the three words consisting of three letters. However, he called her a name that consisted of a three-word compound with the last of the three words consisting of four letters. It turns out that although her blog and comment name share the first two words, the blog’s last word has three letters whereas her commenting name last word has four letters. Although I was wrong, it does prove his claim that we cozy up to her to be frivolous. I should think I know the names of people I cozy up to/with. On the other hand, I am not very familiar with the names of the people I don’t cozy up to/with. Nevertheless, the rest of my point stands. He is an asshole. He used an opportunity to spew his misogyny and no woman there called him on it. Because, like a broken record, I must say again, only certain women are protected. Principles are not applied consistently across the board in feminist land.
If I had to take a guess, I would say he perpetuated the lie that said woman was the cause of what they were accusing her of because in the past she has pointed out his MRA history. Don’t go to sleep on men, ever. That is one thing that has stuck with me from the military. I will not say it is innate, possibly socially conditioned, but men, unlike women, will pretend something did not bother them, and act as if an insult is not a big deal, and BAM!, twenty years later the bastard is fucking his ex-best friend’s wife and stealing his job all because that one man at one time slighted him, intentionally or not. It has been my experience, that women will go on and on about a slight until it is worked out or until they finally realize/accept that the slight will not ever be worked out. So I am saying that asshole was looking for a reason to talk trash about that one woman. How dare she say anything about him that would blow his cover of being the bestest-most-bestest feminist man in all of feminism land. He was going to get his lick in, regardless.
The other detail I was wrong about concerns my post Overstepping Boundaries. Although I still stand by my opinion that others should have not used the blogger’s personal story, I would like to express how I used the wrong title. Instead of Overstepping Boundaries, it should have been Assholes Being Assholes. By using the word boundaries, I implied that the women involved were of similar politics. When in actuality, the two women who abused the blogger’s personal story are not of similar politics. On numerous occasions, one has stated flat out that she is not a feminist. Therefore, expecting her to comply with feminist principles and ethics would garner about the same results that one would expect from an MRA or a Dickist. Zero. I need to start taking people at their word, taking their words at face value. If a woman says she is not a feminist, there is nothing for me to see in her words. Her words will not be filtered though a feminist screen first but sent to an asshole hopper instead. After all, that is what assholes do, they shit crap. The other one’s politics has nothing to do with anything but her. Therefore using the phrase overstepping boundaries was wrong, because neither women who abused the personal story of the other blogger were operating within a mutually respected boundary to begin with.