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Answer Me This

October 15, 2009

Update – This post originally referred, and linked, to a comment FactCheckMe left at redmegaera’s, and which redmegaera published in the interest of “objectivity.”  The comment was a rallying cry for white women to stop “emotionally caretaking” black women by doing their best to eliminate white men’s racism from their interactions with us.  It was simultaneously a demand that black women handle racist white women with kid-gloves.  Well, the cry for support was answered – not by white women, but by white men, the evidence of which support remains in this thread.  Redmegaera has since deleted her shows of “objectivity” from her blog, erasing all indication that she’d ever inspired white male racists to her defense.

What part of “Don’t perpetuate misogyny in my life on the behalf of white men” sounds like a request for white women to “emotionally caretake” black women?  Nowhere in that sentiment is there any mention of feelings and emotions.  Black women aren’t asking white women not to be racists because it hurts our feelings when they do.  We expect that white women will not be racists because they have the power to perpetuate white men’s misogyny against us (and white men’s misogyny against black women is based in both our sex AND our race) institutionally and systematically, and we don’t want that dynamic reproduced in our spaces.

One would think that white women claiming to be feminists would be just as interested in stepping down as harbingers of white men’s misogyny against black women as black women are in being free from its influence.  But, no, it seems white “feminists” think letting go of white MEN’S views and attitudes toward black women (which views and attitudes serve to privilege white women at our expense) is somehow a concession to us, and not a liberation of their own minds from white men’s clutches.

Let me tell you something.  Individual white women are doing me no favors by freeing their minds of racism.  Whether or not one or two or three white women choose to open their eyes to the way their very beings, as they have been socialized under white MALE supremacy, are tools of white MALE oppression in other women’s lives has NO bearing whatsoever on male supremacy as a whole.  None.  Individual anti-racist white women aren’t saving the world.  They aren’t at the cutting edge of anything revolutionary.  The only thing they stand to gain is the freedom of their own minds from male supremacy, and the potential for the unfettered companionship of black women at whose expense they’ve enjoyed white men’s good graces.  That is it.

To any white woman who thinks she’s doing black women some kind of meaningful service by deigning to call herself an anti-racist, who thinks it’s “bending over backward” not to track white men’s bullshit all over my floor on her way through my door – well, let me just say: While you’re doing all that “bending over,” kiss my ass before you straighten back up.

16 Comments
  1. October 15, 2009 11:55 pm

    One would think that white women claiming to be feminists would be just as interested in stepping down as harbingers of white men’s misogyny against black women as black women are in being free from its influence. But, no, it seems white “feminists” think letting go of white MEN’S views and attitudes toward black women (which views and attitudes serve to privilege white women at our expense) is somehow a concession to us, and not a liberation of their own minds from white men’s clutches.

    Yeah Factcheckme was really bending over backwards. She sounds an awful lot like Ms. My sheet is in the cleaners.

  2. October 16, 2009 12:05 am

    Ms. My sheet is in the cleaners

    Oh, I know. Especially with all that condescension about “logic” while she jumps over the obvious to make distinctions that aren’t even relevant.

  3. October 16, 2009 12:14 am

    Then talk about the ol’ reversal trick:

    then, she demands that i emtiotionally-caretake her…that i tread extremely lightly as to not say anything that might offend her…which would be fine EXCEPT that she doesnt make the slightest effort to emotionally-caretake me, and she in fact revels in her own refusal to “mammy” WW. well…sure. BUT consider…that an aggressive, entitled personality…demanding that i emotionally caretake them, while that person does not give a shit about me as a human being and takes pleasure in shitting on me and my own feelings…is how i have experienced almost EVERY MAN I KNOW. i suspect that i am not the only WW to feel this way either. does that not make perfect sense? but again, where is the discussion? where is the honest discussion of experiences and issues?

    In trying to shut ALD up for not wanting to act as mammy, she does in fact demonstrate expectations of a mammy. Although she was accused of racism, she is whining about her feelings not being considered, whining about her being dismissed, and whining about how there was no effort to care for her.

    It is so absurd, it is almost comedic.

    • aladydivine permalink
      October 16, 2009 9:18 pm

      Let us not forget the ever classic IGNORANCE in saying that there is a difference between racist white patriarchal women and racist white feminist women. Let us also not forget how what was actually said (regarding the picture up at my place) wasn’t that these white women in the pic were feminists at all, but that white women who are racist (much like the white supremacist feminists I’ve encountered to date) are an enemy to black women, regardless of their political beliefs. A racist white woman is an ENEMY to black women. A white woman who abuses her privilege is an ENEMY to black women. A white woman who regards black women as if we have “race” like its a disease is INDEED AN ENEMY to black women.

  4. aladydivine permalink
    October 16, 2009 1:02 am

    Kitty, and it’s why I have refused to read what she wrote in response and refuse to deal with Red’s ass in general. When I said I was done with white women, I meant it. I guess she didn’t get that.

  5. October 16, 2009 1:59 pm

    This post kind of makes me want to applaud.

  6. Orianna permalink
    October 16, 2009 11:45 pm

    You dumb eggplant bitches. More and more “white women” are waking up to how “monkeyfied” you dumb pikaninnies are….we really love that you Africoid cunts make no sense when you speak, you are little more than simians. We find you amusing. Ta-ta!

    • October 17, 2009 1:08 am

      I will let you rest tonight Richard, but I did keep your information and will post it again if needed. And I am only extending this courtesy to you, so you will not have an excuse (in your head) to go home and beat your wife and daughter and because I am not a vile creature as you have proven yourself to be. However, your picture with that nasty comment will remain. Consider yourself lucky.

      If any of our friends missed the comments (and information), email me, and I will give you the copy and paste version.

  7. October 16, 2009 11:57 pm

    Oh, look, redmegaera and factcheckme got some support. How sweet.

    • October 17, 2009 12:19 am

      Here’s that white power differential that redmegaera refused to get when she decided to make things “balanced.” She gave white men and white racist women a reason to unleash their anger, because you know, how dare an eggplant bitch expect to be treated like an equal by a white woman.

      Are any of you following the thread of discussion she’s having with redmegaera. There is a comment from her where she is practically begging for forgiveness for some (real or imagined?) racial comment. Looks like wor Margaret is continuing to hound her in her latestg this next post. Will be interesting to see whether or not redmegaera continues to put up with it, or grows some balls.
      (BTW, I don’t know whether redmegaera did say something racist, but she certainly apologised, and where I come from you respond to that by saying ‘i forgive you’. Not that I’d expect Wolflady to understand that.)
      Posted by: Pete | October 15, 2009 at 18:42

  8. October 17, 2009 3:21 am

    (and white men’s misogyny against black women is based in both our sex AND our race)

    For example:

    You dumb [could be race and sex] eggplant [race] bitches [sex]. More and more “white women” are waking up to how “monkeyfied” [race] you dumb [could be race and sex] pikaninnies [race] are….we really love that you Africoid [race] cunts [sex] make no sense when you speak, you are little more than simians [race]. We find you amusing. Ta-ta!

    7= Race
    4= Sex

  9. atheistwoman permalink
    October 17, 2009 3:32 am

    What a marvelously charming fellow! He should visit more often. I say sah, how very amusing!

  10. atheistwoman permalink
    October 17, 2009 3:34 am

  11. aladydivine permalink
    October 19, 2009 6:17 pm

    “Well, the cry for support was answered – not by white women, but by white men, the evidence of which support remains in this thread. Redmegaera has since deleted her shows of “objectivity” from her blog, erasing all indication that she’d ever inspired white male racists to her defense.”

    What’s most interesting to me about this is a comment she left on my blog regarding a VERY similar situation that went down on her blog due to one of my comments. I was commenting about how advertisers and men in general do not honor women’s varying bodytypes and saying I prefer real women to this stereotypical “thin is in” beauty. What I ACTUALLY ended up saying was I prefer real women to thin women, which left room for an asshole named James to come in and commodify women. Please read what she had to say below:

    Undercover Punk
    Remember that time, Divine, over at redmegaera’s when JoceClaire called you out about your comment regarding skinny women vs. Real Women and you responded with “oooh! my APOLOGIES, that’s not what I meant, here’s what I actually meant” (yeah, I’m paraphrasing. badly.)?? Well, that’s what I’M TALKING ABOUT!!! Rock on, sister.

    2009 October 8 redmegaera
    Yeah, that’s a great analogy, Undercover Punk. It’s not just the initial offense, it’s the inability to take responsibility for it afterwards.I do think that in most instances if a woman is prepared to acknowledge but doesn’t understand her abuse of privilege that it’s okay to query the offense and ask why it was offensive (how else is that woman going to avoid making the same mistakes again?) but clearly, that’s not how factcheckme responded. I’m also troubled by some women’s usage of the phrase “oppression olympics”. When it’s used to discredit and/or minimize women’s experience of racism, lesbophobia, antisemitism, sizeism, ableism etc. it’s clearly being appropriated to defend existing privileges and power inequalities. And in a much more sophisticated way than the kinds of blatant discrimination that most of us encounter on a daily basis. It’s a bit like socialist or anarchist men and/or men in the peace movement telling women that their concerns would be dealt with after the revolution- as if our opression wasn’t fundamental to every form of patriarchal governance.

    “You’re absolutely right, and I did feel this way. I just have this nasty little habit of taking care of others, always, and I am working my ass off to stop that!

    This what I was getting at in my initial post but, of course, Undercover Punk put it so much better. I think it’s not just a self-identified habit of yours but something many of us battle with. It’s our internalization of men’s exploitation and/or expropriation of our emotional labour.

    And yes, I hope to become a regular too. Your blog is incredible.

    And yet to be “objective,” she allowes FCM to further abuse me by brandishing her white privilege and her racism in a discussion that had NOTHING to do with her, and had everything to do with white women being accountable to woc, period. Oh how the white sisterhood constantly prevails because white women are CHICKENSHIT “feminists” who are more afraid of being excommunicated from white supremacist feminism, than of the reality of what their privilege abuse means for the woc they abuse with it.

    btw for those reading who have trouble believing a black woman’s truth, here is the link to the comments so you can read them for yourself. And redmegaera, if you’re reading, you’re a coward… deleting anything at all to do with supporting black women and being accountable to black women in the interest of appeasing your racist white supporters is a disgusting mark against your integrity and character.

    http://aladydivine.wordpress.com/2009/10/02/where-in-the-world-is-divine-purpose/#comments

  12. aladydivine permalink
    October 19, 2009 6:18 pm

    dang it, can one of you ladies delete the dupe comment? I was trying to format it and it posted anyway… lol now we have one formatted one and one unformatted one.

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