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Virginity and Whiny Males

October 15, 2009

Virginity is an instrument of female oppression.  That is all it is, all it has been, and all it ever will be.  It has been used to restrict women in all of the ways that have been parsed in feminist discourse, of course.  But it remains a tool of female oppression even when males use the term to refer to themselves.  As with all tools of female oppression, virginity cannot be re-purposed toward any sort of “egalitarianism.”

When males use the term self-referentially (as in, “that woman took my virginity when I was a boy”), it has the effect of shoring up male supremacy.  It erases the physical differences between females and males and casts as unimportant the actual invasion of female bodies, the tearing of female flesh, the physiological colonization of femaleness by males, in order to create the illusion of similarity where there is none.  The erasure of this distinction allows males to divert attention away from systematic male violation of the integrity of the female body, especially the very young, physically immature female body (the rape act itself, as well as any resultant pregnancy or disease) toward the rare and corporeally noninvasive exploitation of boys by adult women.  These two occurrences are not the same, neither in effect nor in frequency, which should go without saying.

I say all that to say that I don’t care about little boys being sexually stimulated by women.  It’s not rape.  It’s not supported by the dominant power structure, which does support overtly and explicitly the rape of girls and women.  And besides that, women are not, by far, the primary perpetrators of sexual assault of any kind against male children.  So, I can’t be concerned about women “taking the virginity” of little boys, especially when such males have nothing to say about the preponderance of girls being raped, and they never use the concept of virginity when referring to forcible sodomy of boys by adult males.

  1. October 15, 2009 2:59 am

    Whiny indeed. Assholes. Perpetrators love to pretend victim. “Look mom, I am the big bad man in charge, and, I am the one who needs your sympathies.”

    And let’s not forget all the men winking and nodding when the seventeen-year-old gets himself a “cougar.” It plays in the boys’ favor, not the woman’s.

    Men will do anything and everything to deflect attention from their heinous behavior.

  2. October 15, 2009 3:34 am

    Exactly, Kitty. Males who have had their penises stroked by women do not face anywhere near the ostracism and scorn that female victims of rape do. So, not only have they not been bodily invaded, but no one’s calling them any kind of whore either.

    They get no sympathy whatsoever from me. None.

  3. Mary Sunshine permalink
    October 15, 2009 6:10 am

    they never use the concept of virginity when referring to forcible sodomy of boys by adult males.



    • atheistwoman permalink
      October 15, 2009 6:41 am

      Yes, from now on all straight men are virgins. Gawd, such prudes, those straight men.

    • October 15, 2009 12:29 pm

      I know, where are all the sympathetic people going on about how a boy getting his asshole rammed for the first time should be a beautiful, gentle experience, and how terrible it is that forcibly sodomized boys have been robbed of the chance to give their virginity to a kind man that they love?

  4. October 19, 2009 10:35 pm

    The entire concept of ‘virginity’ is stoopid.

    Do we even remember/talk about/boast about the first time we lost our ‘eating virginity’ (as in ate food for the first time)?

    You are right though, there is no comparison between the two circumstances, the physical differences aside, it bears no contest with the social stigma either.

  5. steveUK permalink
    October 30, 2009 11:14 pm

    Margaret and Kitty, thank you so much for your hard work. Getting out the word takes time and effort and you two are great! When you write a book, I will be the first to buy a copy for my daughters.

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