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Early Initiation

November 20, 2009

I’ve been seeing a lot of girls wearing high-heeled shoes lately, which is disheartening.  I imagine that their parents are in denial about the meaning of high heels – or, more likely, the mothers are the ones in denial.  Most males make no bones about the fact that high heels signal heterosexual availability, while most of the tottering women I’ve ever heard talk about them frame the decision to wear high heels in terms of simple aesthetic preference.  As well, I don’t doubt that the girls themselves express at least some desire to wear them when the female adults around them get so much male approval for their wobbly gait.

This grooming, seasoning, of girl-children for eager participation in the titillation of males is tragic, most especially, in my opinion, because of the willful denial in which women happily indulge.  In order to ease their own guilt and shame at their complicity, they initiate their daughters into the same servitude.  To train their daughters differently would be an active condemnation of their own decisions, after all.

As it stands, though, the bodies of girl-children provide an easy salve for the egos of women pawns, for surely that which is done to girls is equally “harmless” when engaged in by women.  If girls are decked out in high heels, halter tops, and lip gloss, it eases the conscience of the typical “feminine” woman who cares more for the elimination of “slut-shaming” than she does for an end to the male-supremacist system that rewards her for her “sluttiness,” even as it vilifies her for it.  I mean, we wouldn’t “slut-shame” a 4-year-old in animal-print hot-pants, right, so how could we be so heartless and cruel as to “shame” her 30-year-old counterpart?

But what these women fail to realize is that there is no acceptance of male rewards without suffering male disdain.  Of course males feel disgust for eager female acquiescence to their demands; at the very least it is impossible to respect such groveling for crumbs.  In fact, I think that has something to do with pedophiles’ preference for girl-children – the lack of girl-child awareness of the debasement inherent in eager fulfillment of oppressive roles is endearing, whereas this same eagerness in presumably more aware female adults is merely pathetic.  Does anyone respect the dog, or the jester, eagerly performing tricks for a treat?  Is not the dog’s, the jester’s, lack of humiliation at his own debasement the indication of his inferiority?

Defiance, refusal to accept the proffered crumb, is more an affront to those who scramble to please their masters than it is to the masters themselves, which is why the world over it is generally women who initiate their daughters into servicing male demands.  Every male with whom I’ve ever bothered to discuss such things is clear, and adamant, that he would refuse to participate in his own degradation, that he would prefer the ostracization of disobedience than the rewards (and concurrent disdain) of compliance.  It would be nice if women could swallow their pride long enough to give their daughters a chance for true humanity, instead of inculcating them with a willingness to simply settle for the potential to become the most pampered of men’s pets.

11 Comments
  1. November 20, 2009 2:47 am

    In fact, I think that has something to do with pedophiles’ preference for girl-children – the lack of girl-child awareness of the debasement inherent in eager fulfillment of oppressive roles is endearing, whereas this same eagerness in presumably more aware female adults is merely pathetic. Does anyone respect the dog, or the jester, eagerly performing tricks for a treat? Is not the dog’s, the jester’s, lack of humiliation at his own debasement the indication of his inferiority?

    O-M-G!

    • November 20, 2009 2:57 am

      I think that’s part of what pedophiles are talking about when they go on about the “innocence” of girl-children. It’s not necessarily virginity, as most of the girls being prostituted, in pornography or otherwise, have long since lost that, to be frank.

  2. November 20, 2009 4:28 am

    Compliance reminds men of their oppressor status. Men don’t want any suggestion whatsoever that reminds them of their oppressor status. This of course does not mean they want equality; they simply want to dominate and not be reminded of their role. If domination had not become an objectionable word, they would not care if they were reminded of their position or not, but since it is whispered at times, they must adapt. They have adapted by going younger.

    • atheistwoman permalink
      November 20, 2009 4:55 am

      Oh, men have always gone younger, the nasty bastards.

    • November 20, 2009 5:43 am

      Yes, but men going younger anyway is different from society encouraging males to go younger. We’re just talking about the ways that society does encourage it, not about the fact that males are parasites and rapists anyway. It’s the encouragement that, in part, creates a system of male supremacy and male entitlement where there would otherwise only be individual male rapists, of girls and women alike.

  3. November 20, 2009 4:32 am

    And of course women who are not ready to stop condoning (complying) will teach the old ways to their girl-children because to not teach them will stand in stark contrast to their own role.

  4. berryblade permalink
    November 20, 2009 1:58 pm

    Have you seen the picture that shows all the damage that high heels do to the whole body? I think they should have to hang those, but really big (big enough to read from a medium distance), above or in all stores as a warning like they do for cigarettes.

    Warning: high heels have been known to cause or contribute to back pain, leg pain, foot pain, back damage, leg damage, foot damage, bone damage, muscle damage, posture damage, abnormal shortening of muscles, callouses, bunions, may or may not contribute to low self esteem etc etc

  5. Level Best permalink
    November 20, 2009 2:03 pm

    Wow, Margaret, your analysis in this piece is so sharp. I wish I had a greater capacity to express sustained rationality as you do. I agree, totally, and it sickens me to see little children used as sex fodder. “In order to ease their own guilt and shame at their complicity, they initiate their daughters into the same servitude. To train their daughters differently would be an active condemnation of their own decisions, after all.” Awesome observation, and sad, sad, sad.

    “Of course males feel disgust for eager female acquiescence to their demands; at the very least it is impossible to respect such groveling for crumbs.” This reminds me of what I heard during my haircut last night. My stylist is a single mother of two, probably in her mid- to late-30’s, works on her feet all day, manages her own household, etc. YET, for the past couple of times I’ve gone in, all she can talk about is how worried she is about this soon-to-be-divorced guy she’s going with, and how he’s hot and cold, and doesn’t respond back to texts, etc. It’s worrying her to death. She’s thinking about dating this other much older divorced guy who made it clear his goal is wild sex–he can get free flight tickets! But she likes the non-responding guy, better. I want so badly to say, “You don’t need a man. You’ve been getting along, and you’re even taking classes while working full time and taking care of kids. These guys sound horrible and don’t respect you. Really, to hell with them!” But out in the real world if you try to tell a woman like this something of that sort, she would be indignant. Someday I’ll probably say it, and then I’ll have to find another stylist.

  6. November 20, 2009 8:46 pm

    This grooming, seasoning, of girl-children for eager participation in the titillation of males is tragic, most especially, in my opinion, because of the willful denial in which women happily indulge. In order to ease their own guilt and shame at their complicity, they initiate their daughters into the same servitude. To train their daughters differently would be an active condemnation of their own decisions, after all.

    Dead on!

    This made me think about some issues I had with my mother throughout my childhood. See mom wanted me to find someone better than the man she chose to have me with. She wanted to stay with him, allow him to continue to terrorize her with his lazy, selfish, hateful madness, but she wanted me to somehow be with someone different, but not speak out on her decision to remain with such a destructive hateful man.

    So I was somehow supposed to learn how to be with someone different/better than her husband, but was also being groomed/instructed to accept male fuckery. The high heels, the outfits, the instructions on how to be an attractive woman, the celebrations over my body she engaged in with her sisters: “They’ll know she’s a girl even under those baggy clothes that’s for sure” all of it. Someone better to her never meant someone who wasn’t objectifying me, or considering me only as a sexual object. No no, and for most hetero women this NEVER crosses their minds. It’s always about pleasing the menz and “catchin a good one.” Very few women have the desire to see deeper than “teh good menz” and to see that “good” isn’t really all that great.

    And oh the day that I learned that “someone” = male… well we won’t go there. But I think that hetero mothers opposition to their daughters being lesbians is because THAT really sticks it to em. Fuck your male condonation, and acceptance of their treatment of you, is what a girl asserting she’s a lesbian means to them. smh

  7. Branjor permalink
    November 21, 2009 12:41 am

    But I think that hetero mothers opposition to their daughters being lesbians is because THAT really sticks it to em. Fuck your male condonation, and acceptance of their treatment of you, is what a girl asserting she’s a lesbian means to them.

    Yes, it’s too bad that they interpret it that way. My being a lesbian was actually an affirmation of my bond with my mother. After having that, why would I want to spend the rest of my life miserable with a man?

  8. November 21, 2009 11:00 pm

    You know, Branjor, I’ve tried to tell my mother that exact same thing, but, much like soul sis said, she insists on seeing my choices – and whatever lessons I’ve learned from observing her own misery – as a condemnation of her life. She’s perfectly happy to discuss her desire for me to live a better life than the one she’s led, but only so long as the discussion isn’t framed in terms of her having made mistakes or chosen the *wrong* path. I’m not sure how she deals with the hypocrisy in her own mind, but I’ve grown weary of navigating the obstacle course constructed by her ego.

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