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Villains and Damsels

January 28, 2010

There are a couple of women running around the internet playing the aggrieved victim at my and/or Kitty’s expense and, frankly, I’m sick of it.  It really is just juvenile.  All of the pouting and whining about how “Oh, no, I don’t think I’d be welcome over there,” and “Boo hoo!  I’ve been kicked out of Rad Fem Central!” is so much overwrought theatrics.  First of all, it shouldn’t surprise, let alone offend, anyone that non-feminist women wouldn’t be welcome here.  Secondly, Kitty and I have never proclaimed our blog the center, top, or bastion of anything at all.  The sadomasochism of women pretending they’re the victims of some kind of authority Kitty and I don’t seek, never claimed, and therefore have certainly never wielded gets really, really old.   I invite those women who need Kitty and me to play the villains in their sagas to examine exactly why it is they need that.

And another thing I’ve noticed in all of this damsel-in-distress posturing is the misogyny.  No one, no one, says of environmentalists, animal rights “activists,” or even Republicans, that they can’t identify in those ways politically unless they’re actually going out in the world tying themselves to trees in the rain forest, adopting old farm or racetrack animals bound for slaughter, or campaigning for their party.  It just doesn’t happen.  One’s personal beliefs are generally quite sufficient in those cases.  But the second a woman says she identifies with separatists, or that her feminism is separatist, or even just agrees with the notion that separatism is the only feminism with the potential to liberate women and therefore the only feminism worth actually advocating, other women start tearing their hair out about their presumptions of what her life is like.  It’s pure misogyny.

16 Comments
  1. Pseudoadrienne permalink
    January 28, 2010 11:16 pm

    There’s a plethora of fun/faux-feminist blogs across the intertubes, where they can freely play the poor widdle, “good” mainstream feminist being “persecuted” by separatist-feminists, and receive accolades from “da boyz” for embracing Beyonce’s/Pussycat Dolls’ version of choice-feminism. “I’m taking my ball and going home, you people are mean!” Please…

  2. January 29, 2010 1:52 am

    And, sadly, pseudoadrienne, there are a few self-proclaimed radical feminists who pull the same trick. If only this were limited to the fun-feminists.

  3. January 29, 2010 5:22 am

    That is the million-dollar self-reflection assignment, isn’t it? Why is such a dichotomy necessary? Why do they need an opposite? If I were to answer, my answer would be a rehash of the same theme we have discussed here over and over. They need to be the “good” to someone’s “bad.”

  4. Mary Sunshine permalink
    January 29, 2010 6:57 am

    It’s a Canadian thing, eh?

    😀

  5. joankelly6000 permalink
    January 29, 2010 9:39 pm

    Agreed, and especially appreciate your point about the misogyny in holding separatists or separatist-advocating women to standards that no other politically inclined person is held to, on top of the way separatism itself is demonized as the absolute most monstrous thing a female person could believe in or advocate for.

  6. January 30, 2010 4:55 pm

    Forgive me for being dumb, but how can any woman claiming to be a feminist ever hold the belief that separatism is dangerous, terrible, wrong for women?

    Oh never mind. It’s pozi-ism. Don’t mind me, I don’t mean the sex freaks, I’m talking about the all of them. Including the radfems tripping over themselves to support tranny males, and even the radfems who aren’t. Anyone who takes issue with separatism needs a check up from the neck up.

    • January 30, 2010 4:56 pm

      oops I forgot:

      hehehehe. Hope everyone enjoys the clip and gets the reference. 🙂

    • Mary Sunshine permalink
      January 30, 2010 6:24 pm

      Anyone who takes issue with separatism needs a check up from the neck up.

      😛 😛

      What they’re trying to sell us is their belief that supporting male parasitism is somehow going to make it go away. ??!! Your sister and my daughter spring to mind. 😦

  7. soulsistasoulja permalink
    January 30, 2010 8:00 pm

    Right Mary? Nice name btw? 😉

    It’s just plain dumb. There is no other way to describe it. Hetero women don’t have to support and defend all things male either. And in my experience, though I’m sure others will add if this isn’t true for them, hetero women are the ones behind much of this attack on separatism.

  8. Mary Sunshine permalink
    January 30, 2010 11:20 pm

    Well, het-identified lesbians and lesbian mothers of males are right there with them.

  9. January 31, 2010 1:55 am

    Oh yes, Mary, about the het-identified lesbians and lesbian mothers of males. And while I agree with soulsis that it’s mostly straight women who oppose separatism, there are an awful lot of het-identified lesbians who make the same knee-jerk proclamations of “but I don’t hate men!” that het women make in order to stand apart from separatists. And there are also a lot of lesbians who use their lesbianism to justify supporting male-supremacist concepts (like femininity, motherhood, capitalism, racism, etc.) in settings where these things would normally be unacceptable.

  10. soulsistasoulja permalink
    January 31, 2010 2:46 am

    I hate men, until they prove to me that they’re worthy of not being hated. I despise the shit that they do, and I will talk about it without reassuring them that I don’t hate em all. All are to be regarded as rapists, murderers and abusers until proven otherwise.

    But now I guess I’m just a man hater.

  11. pseudoadrienne permalink
    January 31, 2010 6:27 am

    “but I don’t hate men!”

    How many “feminists” have wasted their time, effort, and resources regurgitating this line to the point it’s pitifully verbose? Sigh. Even “feminists”– so inundated with “civilization’s” misogyny despite their pronouncements of being liberated– are desperate for male approval. Misogyny and patriarchy are neurotoxins to the female psyche.

  12. January 31, 2010 8:19 pm

    I hate men. Every time I have anything to do with them (like today) it seems to end in tears (mine) and a horrible sense of powerlessness (also mine). I have only been communicating over email, it’s not like I’ve even been in a room with one of them. I am slowly getting them out of my life, but they resist, and cling on, and can’t believe that you don’t want them around. I’m not even talking about ‘romantic’ or sexual situations – it’s been a looooong time since I was that much of a fool to get involved with men in that way. But even in work-related stuff, they insist that you need them and try to bully you and manipulate you into doing whatever the fuck it is they want you to do.

    The fact is that men hate women, and they express that in oh so many lovely ways. But we’re not allowed to hate them back, cos that makes us evil, even though our only ‘weapons’ are words, and our only defence is to try to stay out of their way.

    • Mary Sunshine permalink
      January 31, 2010 8:45 pm

      TBL, yup.

      And they never feel the need to insist that they don’t hate women. What a mindfuck.

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