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Open Thread 41

January 29, 2010

  1. DarthVelma permalink
    January 29, 2010 6:33 pm

    The man who shot Dr. Tiller was found guilty of first degree murder.,0,6251329.story

  2. Mary Sunshine permalink
    January 29, 2010 8:13 pm

    A recurring theme in males comedy isn’t it? {wicked laugh} 😉 {/wicked laugh}

    • January 30, 2010 3:32 am

      It’s definitely a recurring theme, and I generally can’t stand it because it’s usually women who are the butt of the joke when men deck themselves out in drag. But I think these skits are hilarious because the people being ridiculed are males who want other people to believe they are female. The audience isn’t being asked to suspend disbelief in order to go along with the premise that the male actors are actually female, or that they have a relevant perspective on femaleness, unlike most drag-show minstrelsy.

  3. joankelly6000 permalink
    January 29, 2010 9:02 pm

    I need some of that soup. I cannot get well no matter what I seem to do. Though it might help if I stopped participating in toxicity on the internet, ugh. Anyway, the picture itself, even without real soup in front of me, is oddly soothing so thanks for that.

    • January 30, 2010 5:08 pm

      Joan I’m worried about you. You’ve been sick for a while hon. Are you ok? Have you tried any over the counter stuff? Grapefruit juice, while gross, has always been really helpful for me. That and chamomile tea. Ricola makes a tea that is also soothing and tastes great/does the whole cough suppressant thing.

    • January 30, 2010 6:59 pm

      Thanks Soulsis. I’ve been to the doctor several times, as a card-carrying hypochondriac (you couldn’t tell me at first that it wasn’t something life-threatening when I felt so…not-good, ha), and it’s just the same thing as a fair amount of people are going through this flu/cold season, including a lot of my family. There’s apparently so many different strains of whatever-the-fuck out there, that being already immune-compromised out in the world keeps making me susceptible to everything else before I have time to get strong again.

      Also, I’ve discovered that I am a big fucking baby about getting older, ha. It feels harder at almost 42 to have run of the mill colds or flu, when just a couple years ago I really would have taken stuff like this in stride…get sleep, lots of liquids, maybe some Afrin during the day, and garlic-y foods, that’s it.

      Honestly I think the self-pity/mild-depression part is the worst – I’ve not been physically up to doing hardly any of the things that make me happy, and it turns into this illusion that I actually don’t have a life, rather than just that I’m feeling separated from much of it right now while I’m under the weather. Blah.

      Anyway, the good news is I’m finally worn down enough to feel resigned instead of stressed about it – either I really am going to feel this way forever and so, fuck it, I need to adapt and go back to living, or it’s obviously going to pass sooner or later, and that’s that. At the very least, my capacity for moping has to be almost spent, jesus.

    • January 30, 2010 7:44 pm

      This too shall pass? I really hope it does. I know when I’m not feeling well I go through much of what you described, so know you’re not alone.

      I do hope you feel better though. I’ve been feeling like I am getting sick for the past week and nothing has happened yet so I’m waiting lol.

  4. January 30, 2010 5:18 pm

    My friend’s sister works in a mens clothing store. All her life we been tellin this child that males don’t play fair, and all her life she has wanted to be one of the boys. It breaks my heart, and we try to be super loving and kind to her but it’s their attention and approval she wants. Anyway, she’s a manager in the store and one of her employees, thinks he’s gods gift to everything, was fooling around and not working. She repeatedly asked him (nicely I might add, the other males above her said she had to ask her male employees nicely cause she “nags” too much omfg) to complete the assigned tasks and he repeatedly ignored her. She reported it to the male above her and he went over claiming she was “bitching” about him and got the lil fucker all riled up.

    So what does he do? Storms over, fists balled, threatening to beat her, telling her to “keep [his] fuckin name out [her] mouth” and the only thing that kept him from hitting her was a male client (who I hear was well over 6’5) standing between them using his body as a shield. The company policy states that anyone who is violent or threatening or makes threats will be punished yada ya. Fool gets a write up, she gets told not to provoke him again. And he is still threatening her, because she pushed for him to be investigated.

    My frustration is that me and her sister have been telling her stfu, don’t give them ammo, don’t tell them what you’re doing. Gather the evidence and proceed (yeah i know, can only go so far the law was developed to protect and defend teh menz but her doing things HER way is not going to make her safe/secure either) and she goes running her mouth telling them everyone she’s spoken to, and everything she has.

    and i have no fuckin clue what to do, say, or how to move now. Because for as long as I’ve known her, she’s the type to set herself up and take everyone who is in her corner down with her. I have to say though that I’ve been feeling like maybe my thoughts are misogynist because I am now of the mind that whatever happens now, she brought it on herself. She keeps wanting to make the boyz happy, has used her looks and body to get ahead and is mad that it failed her. I just wanna friggin scream.

  5. Mary Sunshine permalink
    January 30, 2010 6:14 pm


    I hear you. My daughter is in a whistle-blowing situation at work which is going off the rails for the same reasons that your sister’s is. The employer’s male establishment has by this time (I imagine) finally finished severing her jugular vein.

    Two weeks ago I had to disconnect from her because I was being taken down with her. Women set themselves up by clinging to cherished beliefs that they can win by doing head-to-head battle with the male establishment on its own terms.

    Yeah, ultimately it’s a misogynistic belief that whirls around and bites them badly. Each one thinks that she’s the special snowflake who will be listened to and ceded to, based on past experiences of being singled out for special positive attention by males in entirely different contexts.

    I fear for her, but any expressions of that fear are counter-productive, leading only to further expressions of rage from her.

    At this stage of life (she is in her forties) I am not optimistic that she and I will ever have any connection again. She has alienated everybody close to her, and, I fear, is now heading into a long tragic period in her life. To a great extent because of her own choices, based on her touching belief that the male value system and establishment can be made to work for her benefit.

    • January 30, 2010 7:48 pm

      Kimberly Crenshaw, in an essay/article I cannot remember the damn name of, writes about this beautifully. She talks about the personal being political, and how feminism has morphed into this “what can you do for me” bullshit where women take for granted the minimal gains women as a class have gained, and think that the struggle is over.

      It’s sad, and it breaks my heart to see this happening. But I’m not surprised. There will always be cheerleaders, unfortunately, and some women really do value that role. To me, that is the basis of believing that male anything can benefit women. It can’t. Male supremacy, like white supremacy, ALWAYS and only works to the benefit of males. The sooner female people wake up and see this, the better.

  6. Mary Sunshine permalink
    January 30, 2010 6:16 pm

    Scream, hell yeah. But where can we go to let out that scream where we won’t get busted by the cops?

    Hmmmm ….. thinking …..

  7. January 30, 2010 7:18 pm

    oy, Soulsis and Mary, it reminds me of a man I knew and a couple of different women who knew ahead of time that he was a girlfriend-beater and dated him anyway. The first woman saw him explode at me for having asked him – and this was back in my feel-duty-bound-to-express-compassion-for-everyone-no-matter-what days – to please not talk about harming animals in front of me. I’m grossed out to say this but for context: I kissed his ass about it, I wasn’t even taking any real kind of a stand. He left (there were a bunch of us at his apartment with his other roommates) and I had no idea what was going on, and when he came back he screamed at me in a way that gave me that physical shock of visceral terror. I left immediately, I’m just saying that everyone, including the woman I was roommates with who was dating him, saw how fucking horrifying he was.

    she did towards me what *I* had used to do towards myself – blamed it on me for not intuitively knowing how to avoid angering him. When I said to her that I didn’t feel mad at him so much as enlightened and now-apathetic, that of course he would turn that on her and the fact that he hadn’t so far only meant that she would be in even deeper by the time he did, it did not mean that she was someone he found naturally less infuriating…she was insulted at the suggestion that her specialness might not really exist. I thought I was supporting someone who I had presumed, after witnessing such a thing, would be feeling a desire to run from him.

    a couple of years later, after he’d beat her repeatedly and she’d gotten a restraining order against him, another fucking woman friend pulled me aside at a gathering and asked me to “level with her” about him. She’d been hearing troubling rumors, doncha know, but he was so sweet to her and she felt so safe with him. I knew better by then than to expect anything other than what did in fact happen – I told her that he had beaten every single woman he’d ever dated; she decided he was “different now” and kept seeing him. to predictable ends.

    I will wrap up this long-ass comment, but my final thought is – I never am puzzled anymore by women who cling to the “but I’m special” idea when it comes to males and their horribleness. They are aware, even if subconsciously, how these males really feel about female people, and the devastation of understanding your (lack of) worth to those who you had always granted fully-human status to in your heart (because everyone does with males), it is intolerable. The only salve is the possible coup of being the exception. Not only does seeing other women get harmed by these fuckers NOT deter such women, but it actually reinforces their tactics – the worse he treats other females, the more evidence that he really does hate female people, the higher the elevation in being the one he supposedly likes in spite of her femaleness.

    I don’t know where internalized misogyny ends, in how I end up feeling towards women who I see doing these things, and where healthy aversion to the inevitable horror of such choices begins.

  8. soulsistasoulja permalink
    January 30, 2010 7:58 pm

    “I don’t know where internalized misogyny ends, in how I end up feeling towards women who I see doing these things, and where healthy aversion to the inevitable horror of such choices begins.”


  9. January 31, 2010 2:01 am

    It doesn’t help matters that these girls’/women’s delusions of specialness don’t exactly spring just from their own minds, either. Males often lie outright to these girls/women in order to pull them in, stating explicitly that the girl/woman in question is different or better than other members of her sex.

  10. joankelly6000 permalink
    January 31, 2010 5:30 am

    That too, Margie. Both were definitely the case with me, when I was younger – needing to believe it, and being lied to as well.

  11. bharper permalink
    January 31, 2010 10:51 pm

    I apologize if someone else has mentioned this. A while ago,there were some comments about “Return to Cranford”. You can watch it online until Feb. 16,2010. Put in and then put in “Return to Cranford” in the search function.

    It doesn’t have as much comedy as the first series. It is much darker and it is good.


  12. soulsistasoulja permalink
    February 1, 2010 8:00 pm

    OH GOD shoot me, today during intros in a course I’m in, Women’s Health, the women were all touchy feely and all I love talking about women’s health issues, and life is fun and perky and OMFG 3rd wavers suck!

    And, of course, I will be the bitter and angry black woman. I have two choices, be true to myself and say fuck em cause white women are going to judge you through their inherently racist lil eyes anyway, or play along. The latter will just fuckin kill me. I think I will open my blog up just to document the bullshit that will no DOUBT ensue.

    When the HELL did women’s studies become so goddamn watered down?

    • Mary Sunshine permalink
      February 1, 2010 8:52 pm

      Because there were’nt enough women fighting back.

  13. Mary Sunshine permalink
    February 1, 2010 8:56 pm

    Oops … you asked when. Well, I figure not long after all the radfems were kicked out because fauxfeminists decided *they* wanted those nice cushy academic jobs. Didn’t take long. I figure late 70’s.

    • soulsistasoulja permalink
      February 1, 2010 9:08 pm

      It’s really, truly, sad. Going to switch my major, wost. ain’t cuttin’ it. It’s all “I’m empowered in my kitchen” and “heels make me feel like I can do anything” and plenty of dick sucking now.

      I’m going to scream. My roar will be heard throughout the earth, somewhere a doodbro is peeing himself in fear. The boyz and their friggin cheerleaders will be overthrown and then, radfems will be restored as the keepers of the feminism, sans racism and white guilt.

      Can’t blame a girl for dreaming.

  14. Mary Sunshine permalink
    February 3, 2010 3:41 am

    I found this short video as a link in a Toronto Star blog. I loved it. It’s entitled “girls”.

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