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Anna Maxwell Martin: “The Other Man”

April 8, 2010

You can watch it here! Only 13 minutes long.

I ran across this while searching for the latest with Anna Maxwell Martin. For a movie about rape the female rape victim does not seem to matter much. It starts with the title, The Other Man. Then the caption, “The Other Man follows Sean’s struggle to deal with his wife’s secret.” That says it all doesn’t it. Rape is about how men deal with rape. Not how men deal with being raped mind you, but how men deal with their “property” being raped by another man.

Quickly we learn that the “other man” is more than likely the rapist. Five years after the rape, Martin’s character Christine decides to reveal the rape secret to her husband via a cell phone call. It can be inferred that it was a stranger rape. Sean, the husband rushes home to “comfort her,” because the first thing she wants while opening up about a rape is for a big man to come up behind her while she is washing dishes and engulf her position. Little comforting takes place because Christine is not telling her story to Sean quick enough for him. At least twice maybe three times Sean questions if the rape actually happens or not.

In a matter of seconds, it becomes all about Sean. Christine follows Sean upstairs to see if he is okay. IF HE IS OKAY! Then comes rage, Sean is throwing shit out, first to go is the wedding dress. Apparently, she had her wedding dress on the day a man entered her house and raped her. Next he loads up the truck with the crap from the attic and brings their daughter (it feels as if it will only be a matter of a few hours before her paternity will be questioned) into a verbal assault against her mother. Christine follows the husband and daughter to the beach with warm clothes for them to wear, where she finds him burning all the household goods from the attic. Christine, the rape victim tries to put on a happy face to cheer him up and in return he rolls his eyes……….

  1. April 8, 2010 11:18 pm

    That poor man, I cried through four boxes of tissue.


  2. April 9, 2010 10:09 am

    Ugh – I don’t think I will watch it,your description made me feel queasy!

    • April 9, 2010 10:16 am

      There is a graphic warning but there is nothing really except him being a jerk. To many women watching this short film would be like duh! but for some others I think they may benefit. Of course, they would probably just isolate him as being one jerk and not a reflection of a general attitude among men.

  3. pmsrhino permalink
    April 9, 2010 2:43 pm

    Seriously, fuck that dude. What a fucking asshole. I couldn’t even get through half of it. When he RIPPED her winter boots out of her hands when she wanted them back and then threw them so she’d have to go get them I couldn’t take it anymore. Fuck you movie for making it seem like HE’S the reasonable one in this situation.

    Gotta love the framing though. “These are good days for Sean until the phone call…”

    Oh really? Not “They were good days for Christine until the rape…” ”Cause the rape of a woman is just SOOOOOO much more painful for the men. Not to mention so much more important than what happened to her. Am I supposed to feel sorry for this asshat? Because I feel that’s how I’m supposed to feel here. The wife BETRAYED him by not mentioning it when it happened, presumably so the husband could go out and commit murder and possibly end up in jail leaving his wife a single mother (how old is the daughter? was she already on the way?). And the fact that many men and women would find this type of temper tantrum ROMANTIC is terrible. “Oh, look how much he cares for her. How upset this makes him!” Bullshit.

    but how men deal with their “property” being raped by another man.

    That’s pretty much the whole thing. There is no way around that. Wives, girlfriends, mothers, daughters, they are just property for men to keep from other men or to use to barter and trade with other men. Nothing romantic about that shit.

    • April 9, 2010 4:04 pm

      The writer/director of this short film is a woman, D R Hood. I didn’t find much on her. So, at first I was like, okay, maybe she made this film to show how men react, therefore to highlight a “bad” thing. Think I started thinking about how they say if you have to explain satire it is not satire, although I am not saying this is satire, but I am saying if it is a message what is the message? I’m not sure. Is it a glimpse of everyday life? Because I think most women already know this. Or is it an opportunity to show how rape hurt men. If so, why? Why move on to how rape may or may not hurt men when we have not addressed how rape hurts women. Period.

      It just boggles the mind. But you are so right about how some will find it romantic. I still cannot believe how when I was 20-24 I thought Sixteen Candles was such a cute movie and how much I loved Jake Ryan. Now I watch it and think, the bastard offered his drunken girlfriend to an underage boy (not that being legal would have made a difference) and I am supposed to want/adore/root for this man. I just wish so many years were not wasted by having my eyes closed.

      pmsrhino, I laughed at your not being able to get through it. It was only 13 minutes. LOL!

    • pmsrhino permalink
      April 9, 2010 4:54 pm

      I find my tolerance for this bullshit has gone down over the years, lol. Even 13 minutes is too long most days. I used to watch that kind of stuff all the time, just to absorb it and analyze it (reason number 1 my tv in college was almost always turned to MTV or VH1 reality shows, lol, I was a budding sociology major who suddenly saw all the social constructions I’d known about but never really seen) but now most of the time it just seems repetitive. I’ve already seen this before, next thing please. And I’m sure my monitor appreciates not being punched on account of other people’s asshattery, lol. 🙂

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