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Open Thread 51

April 30, 2010

  1. April 30, 2010 4:31 pm

    My first taste of Edith Wharton was The Age of Innocence. I hated it. I thought it was pretentious, silly, and anticlimactic drama. Then, I watched (not read) Ethan Frome. Although it was entertaining to a certain extent, it lacked passion. This is exactly the problem I had with The Age of Innocence (the novel and the movie). I was not convinced there were any deep love and/or passion between the two so-called tormented lovers. Perhaps I need to read Ethan Frome (Gad knows what will give me the motivation) because I thought the movie came across a little heavy handed in the poor abused man subjected to the ungrateful and mean spirited woman direction. Nevertheless, I am here to tell you that I am reading The House of Mirth. The House of Mirth is by far, Edith Wharton’s crowning jewel. So far, it is tasty. I wouldn’t mind seeing the movie. But Eric Stoltz as Lawrence Selden. As if. Why not just cast Steven Martin if you are going to be so absurd.

  2. April 30, 2010 5:26 pm

    I can’t speak to Edith Wharton stuff (though I somehow am able to enjoy hearing you talk about her writing and the movies even though I’m not familiar with any of it) but what I *can* tell you is that I fucking love goats! I can’t say it enough: AROOO posts the best photos on the internet.

    • April 30, 2010 8:15 pm

      That’s not just any goat, that’s a goat on a mission. LOL!

    • tigerpetals permalink
      May 4, 2010 6:13 am

      Your blog is now protected Joan Kelly! I was reading it just yesterday.

      Anyway I’ve been lurking on this one for months and months now. I like reading, but don’t have anything to add yet.

    • May 4, 2010 1:33 pm

      tigerpetals, thank you for reading at all. I just need a break from my own self for a minute. it’d be more interesting if I could rally myself to put up a bunch of scandalous posts that wouldn’t normally be up if the blog were public, but alas, no such intrigue. anyone I know and like is welcome to be on the folks-who-can-read-if-they-log-in list. If that entails needing a wordpress account and someone doesn’t want one, I can make a pretend-account and give that info to people too, I imagine? In any case, no one’s missing anything!

  3. May 1, 2010 1:50 am

    I just hungrily read posts and comments in about 20 minutes! Gawd I missed AROOO! Xo

    Stuck on the tarmac, I fucking hate (gotcha) airport but I’m glad to be home! 🙂

    • May 1, 2010 3:29 am

      Where you been? All private and stuff.

    • May 1, 2010 3:59 pm

      Dunno why, but this made me laugh so hard. Maybe because of the way I imagine you would say it. 🙂 or maybe I’m just giddy to be back reading AROOO. Its like crack for my feminist psyche, a hit I need daily to help combat self inflicted patriarchal foolishness. And also that which is beyond my control.

    • May 1, 2010 4:17 pm

      You probably imagined right. I really wanted to say: where u at. But some of our audience members (the sneaky unwelcomed ones) would misconstrue the art of switching code with being ignorant and illiterate and use it as an opportunity to talk shit.

      Or I’ve been reading my local on-line paper too much. That thing is chock-full with bigots.

    • May 1, 2010 7:21 pm

      Oh no, you’re definitely right about the code switching. I wish more folks would do that. Particularly some folks I’ve encountered while flying. Friggin speak however the hell you wanna when you’re with your peoples but not in mixed company.

      (And still laughin @ this. Lol)

    • May 1, 2010 7:27 pm

      Someone must’ve forgotten to teach these um folks in front of me how to code switch. I really hate it when my ppls show their ass. Sux but damn we all know white folks are gonna assume its all blacks and not let that one ignorant black ass represent themself.

    • May 2, 2010 3:31 am

      And not just white folks. I’m sorry to keep making this addendum, but, really, everyone who’s not black thinks the same way about black women that white folks do.

    • May 2, 2010 3:53 am

      It’s true though. Your ass will be sold out in a minute.

    • May 2, 2010 5:48 am

      Is it wrong that in my mind it meant all of em? Talk about code switching…

      Margie, you’re right, it is all non black folks. I automatically lumped in non whites with whites.

    • May 1, 2010 5:58 am

      Hope you had a nice trip, sis!

    • May 1, 2010 3:54 pm

      All I gotta say is there is one airport I will never travel again! Damn near 20 hr delay over a lil water! Friggin sissys. Once I got there, it was great. The going and coming was all types of fucked up though. Margie, I had a blast hon. 🙂 missed you ladies you’re kinda like family now, all of you.

      Kitty, I have meen mia, made the blog private so I didn’t have to think about mra trolls and their fellow woman hating tranny counterparts mucking up my blog! Lol

  4. May 2, 2010 3:58 am

    I beginning to think that I need eye-glasses. It is a sad day. My eyes and my legs have always been very very good to me. My legs are like two strong work horses, and my eyes have been like eagles soaring through the sky. Now, now, I am noticing that I cannot always read the smaller signs like the smaller writing on a poster on the other side of the room, etc. Everything else seems clear, but not print. Damn.

    • atheistwoman permalink
      May 2, 2010 1:31 pm

      Welcome to the club four eyes ;-).

    • May 2, 2010 4:02 pm

      Hey, I’ve not taken any tests yet. It may just be my imagination. I-M-A-G-I-N-A-T-I-O-N.

    • May 2, 2010 7:29 pm

      As a member since the age of 5, I’d like to join AW in welcoming you. Lucky you that glasses have come so far style-wise. You missed out on the plastic frames with handles attached to the bottom.

    • May 4, 2010 1:29 pm

      Dear god the horrible glasses I’ve had. I couldn’t wear contacts so I was stuck with my unfortunate taste in *everything*, including eyeglasses frames, starting in high school. I got laser eye surgery though, ten years ago, and I tell you it was like a biblical fucking miracle! Thanks to whatever (too much reading or writing or computer-ing, I don’t know what causes near-sighted-ness to creep in again), I now have glasses again, but I love them.

      Thirded, or fourth-ed, about missing you, soulsis, but glad to hear you were on a good vacation.

    • soulsis permalink
      May 4, 2010 6:13 pm

      Aaah glasses. Had to get them in elementary school, 3rd grade I think. And Margie is right, you should be glad you missed those god-awful “welfare frames” (as they were so-called in my childhood) which were plastic and odd shaped. Think Drew Carey frames but not black and handles from the bottom not the sides…

      Joan, girl I had a nice time got my tan on and everything. But went back to work to hear dumb ass white ppl say “you don’t look any blacker” and since I have no damn sense my reply of “well maybe because you’re an old whte woman you’re unable to see my new blackness” was quite offensive. But I’m an asshole for saying that.

      Gawd the whiteness just never stops. I knew some shit would happen as soon as I was back around white ppl. All my black friends and family noticed. Of all the whities, only the non-white identified noticed the difference w/o needing to see a tan line.

      Ugh! If it weren’t so damn sad it would be funny.

  5. soulsis permalink
    May 6, 2010 4:57 pm

    They’re hunting down a black woman at my job. She’s not been here long and they’ve never had a black woman in a senior position before so the white girls are doing what white girls do.

    I want to warn her, tell her what I know and make sure she’s aware of thes snakes in white skin, but goddamn are we our own worst enemy sometimes. The last thing I want or need is to stick my neck out for a sista only to have my head chopped off and someone spitting down my neck.

    I really hate the phonieness of white culture. Kick it to me straight, if you hate my black ass just say so! But stop all the buddy friend shit and the trying to get close so they know how to dick you around I just cannot do. And its ancient all the way back to Asiatics and the Kemetians (I’m talking ancient) white women use backstabbery to get what they want. This sista is older and been in her field for about 10 years now so she probably knows how to handle her own but something inside me feels like she doesn’t know about *this.*

    • Mary Sunshine permalink
      May 6, 2010 9:37 pm


      Do you feel as if you can speak to her privately about this?

    • May 7, 2010 1:45 am

      Be *very* careful, sis. You don’t want any of the white women to know you’re on to them. And you also don’t want anyone to think you’re ingratiating yourself to the black woman in a top position. Even just being seen having a conversation with you can be construed as “black favoritism” and the like by white women. You also have to keep in mind that, assuming this woman’s position is senior to yours, it’s easier to get rid of you than it is her. The white women’s hunt can be redirected. If you don’t think the black woman would stick her neck out for you in that scenario (and even if you think she might, really), you should consider biting your tongue.

    • May 7, 2010 2:01 am

      I wouldn’t say a damn thing. When it comes to jobs/work, I take the don’t ask/don’t tell approach to everything. When people start gossiping, I walk away. I’ve been burned so many times. Used to I had to force myself to do this and often I would feel left out. Now, it is just a matter of course and I don’t feel a thing. The other day at work I walked up to a group of people and I “felt” something that had not been there, and as I walked to my car I almost allowed myself to slip into a state of wondering, and I said aloud in my car, “Kitty, forget it, just forget it.” I am certain something was said, probably about me. But, in all honesty, it just not matter anymore. You can count on no one. NO ONE! There are no ride or dies at work. And principle must be damned, damned I tell you. If not, you will suffer. Courage, conviction, principles, there are all now just vapid buzzwords. All that is left is to “get mine.”

    • soulsis permalink
      May 7, 2010 12:38 pm

      Its so fucking petty too! She has been working within the company a long time but @ a different location. So she has more pto hours and the complaint is that she is out a lot. She’s married and the man is very ill (I dunno why, I kinda keep to myself-ish) so she is out a lot. Has other ill family too… but as always with white women, if her dog or cat died they would be all understanding. What’s happening is a bunch of hetero jealousy and foolishness because the sista is black, married, large and in charge. I hear them all the time talking shit (mostly the single heteros or those in long term “relationships” with men. U know how marriage is all the rage for heteros.)

      The woman is a very sweet person who just wants to do her job and live her life. I sux, but I’m sayin nada because I know how white girls do, I’ve seen it before they did it to another bw in a lesser position a few yrs ago. They’re also riding this other disabled black woman. Shit there are only 3 of us, but still that ain’t enough.

      Mary, I do feel like I could talk to her. I don’t feel it would be wise. Margie and Kitty, you’re right. Gonna bite my tongue and shut up. Especially since they’re on my ass too.

  6. May 6, 2010 8:46 pm

    OT: it’ll be Friday tomorrow but I need to say it now. I am really disappointed in women who think feminism means their right to treat other women like peasants. Also, those who think it means their right to reign via “feminine” weakness.

  7. May 7, 2010 2:07 am

    I’ve been seeing a lot of this, prof. And if you’re talking about what I’ve seen – black women taking the white-woman “feminism” (that has been used to further catapult white women professionally at black women’s expense while they’ve continued to leverage femininity in order to remain marriage material for white males) for their own purpose – well, I’m not really even sure how to address it. It’s disappointing, yes. But it’s also to be expected.

    In a way, it might even be necessary. White women have always taken at black women’s expense. They’ve always assured their positions of privilege by keeping black women out of the competition for those few stations of comfort. So long as black women were maids and nannies, white women could use “feminism” to rise in professional settings. And so long as black women were seen as pack mules and manual laborers, unfeminine by default, white women could utilize their comparative default femininity (even as they pretended to oppose it) to remain desirable to white men, thereby fortifying their economic freedom through marriages to the most powerful males.

    I suspect that if black women start intentionally identifying with the upper classes, rather than with the poor as we’ve generally been socialized to do, it will certainly help to pave the way for black women social-climbers to remorselessly step on the backs of other women (disproportionately black, too) the way that white women have always done. And if black women make a concerted effort to counter our image of lackluster femininity and masculinity, then black women might become competitors for well-to-do white males. I think that those might be the conditions necessary to get white women to understand the misogyny inherent in “feminisms” that have up until this point garnered gains for the few at the expense of the many.

    • soulsis permalink
      May 7, 2010 4:35 pm

      Perfection, every word of it.

      You know like I do that black women aren’t typically socialized to conduct ourselves the way white women do. I remember a convo at work once where the white women were discussing the murder of an 8 y/o black male child. They were asking me and another black woman who worked with us (before they started their vicious campaign against her) why black people allow themselves to live in such terrible communities. Lucky for me that sista gave em the black oppression at greedy disgusting white hands 101… because I was enraged by the sheer ignorance and white supremacist postuering of those white women. Yes we just fuckin love to be poor and live in underserved communities. We are constantly hearing white supremacists (read all whites by me) scream about boot straps and meritocracy. Well, fucker, how about the fact that every single time a black woman (or man for that matter) DOES the bootstrap thing she is attacked mercilessly by vulturistic white people for getting out of her place?

      The lies that blacks don’t hold offices or have higher positions because we don’t “value” hard work make me sick because when we DO the work and finally make it, there are threats for assassination (Assata Shakur, Angela Davis, obama most recently post “racial” society my black ass), or some jealous white person does whatever she/he can to stop us from success nearly every time. Every single time!

      So yes, if black women decided to play the game I guess we could be heartless monsters like the whites, too. But I don’t think so at the same time. Even if we wanted to we couldn’t do it. Black women, more than any women, are expected to mammy and caretake all the time to everyone. White supremacy will see to it that we NEVER have the chance. We will never be able to do what white girls do, we are not white girls we don’t have the privileges white girls do. And they fight damn hard to maintain those privileges, even while lying about wanting womens liberation and equality. Lol notice that white women are the ones yapping about equality. Since suffrage.

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