What Has Replaced Pantyhose? And A Little about Tweens Not Shaving
Often I hear women bragging about how pantyhose are outdated. I’ve been living in California too long because the last time I visited my doctor she had on a pair of pantyhose and a strappy high heel and it threw me off for a second. At first, I thought it was because she was wearing a hose with a sandal but I squashed that as soon as I reminded myself that I did not care about such matters. Then I realized it was the hose with or without sandals that caught my attention. I have been dressing like what any typical “feminine” woman would call a comfortable slouch for so long that I haven’t realized that the female world has put the brakes on pantyhose, or at least they have here in California, where it was like a record breaking 113 degrees Monday.
Yesterday I had a small job at a High School and I looked around at the school staff, including the female teachers and what I saw was, every one of them was wearing some type of pant, be it Capri, shorts, or just simple light but long pants (I saw no jeans). All shoes were either sneakers, sandals, or some leather shoe that did not expose a sock or hose. The one woman in a dress was the counselor, a woman with a PhD. Her dress was one of those very lightweight summery type beach dresses. She wore it with bare legs and short sandals. She was white and darkly tanned as in unnaturally tanned. Her legs were shaven too.
There’s the answer to pantyhose, shaven legs and if you are white and/or have very light skin, a manufactured tan. I don’t think I have to tell anyone but all methods of tanning are bad. Using the direct sun, tanning beds and/or applying a self-tanner to achieve a tan are all potentially harmful to your skin. There is even a product called air stocking in which your legs are airbrushed. Supposedly, Oprah sang the praises of air stocking on one of her shows.
Of course, you could just never wear anything other than pants. However, recently Martha Stewart was spotted at a fashion show and was raked over the coals for having a pair of espadrilles on with stocking feet. She was wearing pants. Someone said something like, “Martha you better get those toes pedicure [as if that was the reason she was wearing stockings, because she neglected spending money on a pedicure] and slap on some self tanner and take those hose off.” I hate the feeling of bare feet in all shoes other than flat sandals and flip flops. Maybe Martha didn’t want to go bare and she didn’t want to wear socks. What’s the problem? If she was too white that would have been criticized, not for being white as in a white person but for not poisoning herself with tanning product. Incidentally, it was this very distinction that stupid ass Glenn Beck tried to conflate not too long ago. Or maybe it was Rush pedophile Limbaugh. One of them was whining about how white people are oppressed because there is an expectation to be tanned. LOL!
The demand for a pedicure adds another layer.
Funny how a six dollar pair of pantyhose has now turned into the price of tanning, the price of a pedicure, and the price of shaving. Price as in paying with money and your health.
Thus brings me to my sweet little child who has now had to tell two girls in her gym class to MYOB. The first girl said, “Kitty III, I think you forgot to shave your legs.” In which my daughter said, “You worry about your legs and I will worry about my legs.” Then, a week later another girl who manages to wiggle out of exercising with an endless amount of doctor’s notes asked Kitty III, “Do you use an electric razor or the other kind.” My daughter being quick on the uptake said, “MYOB.” LOL! That’s a derivative of our mantra around here: “You take care of your business and I will take care of my business.” Kitty III was smart enough to know that the girl just wanted a lead-in to talk about Kitty III’s unshaven legs. I tell her straight up, shaving one’s legs is for nothing but appearing fuckable. If not, then why is there a country song titled, ♪ “Did I Shave My Legs for This?”♫
♪I bought these new heels, did my nails
♫ Had my hair done just right ♫
♫I thought this new dress was a sure bet
For romance tonight♪♪ ♫
Well it’s perfectly clear, between the TV and beer ♪
♫I won’t get so much as a kiss
♪As I head for the door I turn around to be sure ♫
♪♪ ♪Did I shave my legs for this? ♫ ♫
I never had a problem when I was in school. Fortunately, I went to a predominately-black school and at the time, shaving one’s legs was the least worry for young black girls. I don’t remember much of a problem when Kitty II was in school either, although she would have started shaving if she wanted to, or not shaving at all, without discussing it with me. Willful child.
Anyway, if girls continue to bother her about her legs (which are not even noticeable unless you are looking for something and which is something I shouldn’t even have to defend even if her leg hair was noticeable without looking for something) I will call it bullying and see what the school says. Especially since the school hammers away about being anti-bullying.
Do you think it is bullying? Or should girls just suck it up?