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A Soothing Bath

October 12, 2010

My left heel was hurting bad. I don’t know why because I haven’t been walking lately. It usually cuts up when I start walking after not walking for a while. I will have to break out the tennis balls. Because of my heel, I opted for a bath instead of a shower. We do not have tile around the tub but some cheap crappy plastic paneling that covers up the wall/sheet rock and it seems to mold/mildew easily. It is a quickly constructed almost a beach house but not quite close enough to the beach to technically be one and poorly thrown together, clearly an attempt at a rental property that will bring in more money than it takes to maintain. Although I attempt to keep the shower/tub area clean, there are little black flat spots that show up, spots that remain regardless of my pouring bleach on them. And when I try to scrub harder, the caulk comes off and the panel becomes looser, and more the panel becomes looser, the more the landlord shoots the stink eye in our direction as if we are tearing shit up for the hell of it. The problem is there is no fan in the bathroom and if the window cannot remain open, which it cannot, because all the houses out here are built on top of each other and leveled with the next house giving the occupant direct sight into one’s house, so the room remains damp longer than it should.

I did try to forget the few black spots and carry on with a soothing bath. I had a brand new box of Vaseline Intensive Care Moisturizing Bath Beads, Botanical Garden scent. I was sitting in the tub and the water was still running. I reached over to get the cardboard box of bath beads that I left on the side of the tub. On one side of the box, there is an upside down round-triangle area with words in the center that say, “Press Here to Open.” There was a trace of a perforated line but it was not clearly perforated. I stabbed at it with my thumb. It would not punch through. I stabbed harder until the nail on my thumb bent back while a few other nails that I tried broke off. By now, the tub was getting fuller with water and my hands were soaked and my nails were soft. I look around to find anything I could use to stab the box and nothing was around. I decided to rip the top completely off figuring I would later pour the unused beads in a plastic bag to prevent them from getting moist while stored in the bathroom. I wedged my finger under a corner of the top and pulled back real hard just to be met with a small strip of paper, the seal had not been broken. Next, I tried my teeth, something I never do, and again, only a strip of paper came off. Finally, I got so pissed that I squeezed the box hard not caring if all the beads came out and I tore at the top with all my rage until a hole was made. Then I ripped the remaining part of the top off, poured a heaping amount of beads in the tub and threw the box on the floor. By then I was so pissed that no soothing bath was to be had. I just stood up and showered.

10 Comments
  1. October 12, 2010 5:49 pm

    HarHAR! Oh my god, my stomach hurts and I have a tear in the corner of my left eye from laughing so hard. Oh, how I HATE those little “perforated” triangles. Perforated, my ass. You have to wonder if the manufacturers get some kind of kick out of having people poke, jab, and press those things trying to get the box open.

    Sorry about the bath-that-wasn’t, though, you poor thing.

  2. Level Best permalink
    October 12, 2010 5:58 pm

    I’ve managed to cut my hand wide open when “pressing here” on an aluminum foil package, which has teeth to cut that nifty little jagged edge on your piece of foil.

    • October 12, 2010 6:07 pm

      Yeah that foil ain’t no joke. I will burrow my fingers under the middle part to get it started but before I run my fingers to the end corners I will look and see where everything is or use a butter knife. The wax paper box is a little better so that is what I try to use most of, especially for the girl’s school lunch. Although slice cucumbers don’t seem to keep as well in wax paper as aluminum foil, she says she does not mind.

    • October 12, 2010 6:08 pm

      Ouch! I’ve always been afraid I might end up doing that, and now I know it wasn’t without cause. They really need to do something about those foil packages. I mean, cheeses knows you pay enough for a roll of aluminum foil these days that you ought to be able to get it open without risking your extremities.

  3. October 12, 2010 6:16 pm

    Sorry Kitty I couldn’t help laughing either! Sorry about your sore fingers though. I’ve been there too.

  4. Mary Sunshine permalink
    October 12, 2010 6:28 pm

    A familiar rage. I’ve learned to approach modern high-tech packaging with caution, and with a handy array of cutting and prying tools beside me.

    There is a striking difference between 1950’s packaging and today’s. What happened? The old packaging worked perfectly well, and did not constitute a workplace hazard.

    😐

  5. October 12, 2010 7:46 pm

    LOL! Also: ouch!

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