A Home Cooked Meal for the Boys
My sisters, my dear sisters, ain’t nobody told you you had to go and murder your boy child. However, I do need to know, really know, what makes you want to cook him (and his male roommates) a home-cooked meal when he is an adult and living away from home. What motivates your actions?
Two recent cases:
A woman’s son’s wife was having a baby. The wife lived in North Carolina and the husband lived in Virginia with the Navy. A week after the wife had her baby girl; the son supposedly could not get away from the Navy to visit his newborn child. Apparently, those 30 days of leave he accumulates a year had been used for other reasons. The woman traveled from Louisiana to visit her daughter-in-law and to help with the newborn baby. Afterwards she left there and traveled to Virginia to see her son. The poor fellow, all alone with his three other roommates had no food in the house, each just had a bottle of Cognac that they drank after work. Therefore, the mother decided she was going to be the good mother and cook those boys a hot and tasty meal. The next morning when they were all at work, she called a friend back home and asked if she could Google directions to the nearest Wal-mart. There was not groceries in the male-house and none of them gave her any money, but she had a Wal-mart credit card. The nearest Wal-mart was 1.8 miles away, with half of the distance without a sidewalk. Since she did not rent a car and the son drove his to work she set out on foot. From A to B was not on a bus line. It was quite the walk in the heat, but the mother didn’t mind. After lunch, as she did he son’s laundry that was strewn on the floor, she brewed, stewed, steamed, and baked all the fine groceries she carried home from Wal-mart. She imagined all the thanks and compliments she would get when the four hungry men came home greeted by the aroma of her hard work. The mother didn’t think much about the numerous condoms that surfaced in her son’s laundry. Maybe those pants had not been worn since two months before when he had last seen his wife. But, didn’t he pick his mother up from the airport wearing those pants, surely no, she must have been mistaken. Yes, yes, she was mistaken. Five o’clock came and two of the four men were home. They could not wait to have dinner. How lovely dinner will be. It has been nearly a year since either one of them ate a pecan pie, particularly, a homemade pecan pie. Six o’clock came and the third man was there. Three sat at the table cooked for four. The son called and said, “Don’t wait for me mom, I’m tied up at work. I will be home soon. Let them enjoy their hot meal.” One man wonder aloud what the son could possibly be doing because he worked with him and had thought he was the last out, he was quite sure he had locked the gate and turned on the alarms. After midnight, the mother took the leftover out of the oven and put them into the refrigerator. His car’s headlights woke her up just before 4:00 am. He told her to go back to bed, he was not hungry, and they will talk in the morning. But when she woke up, he had already gone off to work.
A woman’s son plays college football. His child’s mother just had his second baby. His mother and his children’s mother live on the East Coast. He plays college football on the West Coast. The first grandchild was a boy. The grandmother only lives two houses away from the little boy’s mother. Since the little boy’s mother just had another baby, a sister, the grandmother thought it would be a good time to take her grandson and visit her son since there was a big football game the coming weekend. She doesn’t have much money, but she has a friend who works for the airlines, so she can get last minute round trip tickets for around $200. Of course, she had to take her 15- year-old son as well, because he cannot seem to stay out of trouble and is presently on probation at school. After $600 for tickets, they arrive on the West Coast. She then rents a car and pays for one night in a hotel. She could have stayed with her son but he is sharing a two-bedroom apartment with five other football players and there really isn’t much room. Even though the initial plan was for her to turn the grandson over to his father while she and her 15-year-old son go to Hollywood and Santa Monica pier, she had to keep the little boy, because, dad had football business that he could not desert. To be on the West Coast by 8:00 am, they got up and headed for the airport at 2:00 am East Coast time. By 6:00 pm on the West Coast, it had been a very long day for this mother/grandmother. The son was now free from his football duties and wanted to take his mother (and brother, and son) around to other places. After all of their sightseeing was over, the adult son whined about being hungry, again. He had eaten at an all you can eat pancake buffet earlier in the day. The mother decided that they should go grocery shopping and then she would go back to his apartment and make him and his friends homemade spaghetti, or maybe lasagna, it depended on what pots and pans the men had. Around 2:00 am West Coast Time, 5:00 am East Coast Time, the meal was cooked and placed in the refrigerator for the men to enjoy the next day. The mother/grandmother then took her 15-year-old son and 3-year-old grandson to the hotel room and went to sleep. They needed their sleep for the next day, the day of the big game.