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Open Thread 65

October 29, 2010

27 Comments
  1. October 29, 2010 5:01 pm

    It’s Halloween weekend!

    Oh we have a little trannie fly coming around. It is not as if there isn’t enough blogs all around the nets for him to jack off to, the bastard has to demand our space. Fuck off Trannie. You don’t get everything you want.

  2. October 29, 2010 8:07 pm

    I’m feeling a little guilty about talking my daughter’s gym teacher into an A- from a B. I was just hoping for a B+, I never dreamed of an A-. I wouldn’t have even visited the subject but they need a clear 3.25 to be part of this thing at school. She probably would have made it already, but, when I saw that B, that solid B, not even a B+, it felt like a stone weighing the child down (or really me, I really should write a post on its own about this). Last year I appeal to the principal about a situation and it fell on deaf ears. Now, that I got a little success from a meeting, I wonder why I am feeling so guilty. Someone needs to stand up for the child. She is never rewarded, never punished, just pushed along unnoticed, —taken for granted. Yet, I cannot stop thinking about all the kiddies who don’t have anyone to stand up for them, such as myself, when I was in 7th grade and could not get into Honor Society because although I had the grades I had an U in conduct in one class, that I thought was totally unfair. Unfair, because it was not as if I yapped all the time, the bottom line was the teacher, a male didn’t appreciate that responded to him instead of taking his verbal abuse unchallenged. Back then (like I’m ancient or something) teachers used to pride themselves on their acid tongue and children were expected to remain silent and take it. It is not as if I curse him out or anything. I can’t remember what I said. It was probably something as simple as, “It wasn’t me talking.”

    • Liberate-her permalink
      October 29, 2010 9:09 pm

      Absolutely! I was academically gifted but did NOT comply with teachers’ bullshit like a good little girl—not if they were wrong about something. This gender bias absolutely undermines these so-called grading “systems” that are anything but unbiased. It’s even more punitive for little girls who are not white, because simply being analytically independent and creative thinkers is seen as stepping out of their proper place and gender role rather than signs of genius that could be cultivated into adulthood.

  3. Mary Sunshine permalink
    October 29, 2010 8:22 pm

    Kitty,

    Gorgeous image! My new desktop wallpaper.

    🙂

  4. October 29, 2010 8:25 pm

    William Shakespeare (1564-1616)

    from Macbeth

    A dark Cave. In the middle, a Caldron boiling. Thunder.

    Enter the three Witches.

    1 WITCH. Thrice the brinded cat hath mew’d.
    2 WITCH. Thrice and once, the hedge-pig whin’d.
    3 WITCH. Harpier cries:—’tis time! ’tis time!
    1 WITCH. Round about the caldron go;
    In the poison’d entrails throw.—
    Toad, that under cold stone,
    Days and nights has thirty-one;
    Swelter’d venom sleeping got,
    Boil thou first i’ the charmed pot!
    ALL. Double, double toil and trouble;
    Fire burn, and caldron bubble.
    2 WITCH. Fillet of a fenny snake,
    In the caldron boil and bake;
    Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
    Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
    Adder’s fork, and blind-worm’s sting,
    Lizard’s leg, and owlet’s wing,—
    For a charm of powerful trouble,
    Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
    ALL. Double, double toil and trouble;
    Fire burn, and caldron bubble.
    3 WITCH. Scale of dragon; tooth of wolf;
    Witches’ mummy; maw and gulf
    Of the ravin’d salt-sea shark;
    Root of hemlock digg’d i the dark;
    Liver of blaspheming Jew;
    Gall of goat, and slips of yew
    Sliver’d in the moon’s eclipse;
    Nose of Turk, and Tartar’s lips;
    Finger of birth-strangled babe
    Ditch-deliver’d by a drab,—
    Make the gruel thick and slab:
    Add thereto a tiger’s chaudron,
    For the ingrediants of our caldron.
    ALL. Double, double toil and trouble;
    Fire burn, and caldron bubble.
    2 WITCH. Cool it with a baboon’s blood,
    Then the charm is firm and good.

    • Mary Sunshine permalink
      October 30, 2010 11:29 am

      Ah! So excellent.

      Kitty, thanks for that, oh literate one.

      😉

  5. Liberate-her permalink
    October 29, 2010 9:10 pm

    I saw the Halloween graphic and didn’t even get the witch connection ’til just now. Duh! So blog-appropriate. 🙂

  6. October 31, 2010 3:27 am

    My only sister, my little sister, got married today 😦

    I didn’t go to the wedding, for a lot of reasons. But it really hurts to know that she’s some man’s wife now, even though I wasn’t there to see the nuptials. It’s devastating.

    • citywood permalink
      October 31, 2010 6:34 am

      I’m sorry. 😦

    • Mary Sunshine permalink
      October 31, 2010 8:25 am

      ((( Margaret ))) I’m so sorry to hear that. My only daughter got married. It’s a grief. I felt lost in space.

  7. Liberate-her permalink
    October 31, 2010 6:10 pm

    😦 I’m sorry. At first, I thought the emoticon was a happy face, and I was like, WTF?!

    I think women know the little things men do to them in most interactions are not right, but they have this cognitive dissonance thing going on so their entire perception of reality doesn’t shatter; it’s self-protection. I want to shatter the funhouse mirrors for all women of the world somehow.

  8. Liberate-her permalink
    October 31, 2010 6:13 pm

    Through Margie’s example, I am relieved to feel validated about something I’ve been feeling guilty about.

    I don’t want to go to my cousin’s wedding coming up in a few months. I don’t have a relationship with him now, but we did see each other pretty much constantly as children, and spent every holiday together, including birthdays. But I dislike him especially because he used his white male privilege to get his undeserved high-paying job in a very unethical manner that could only be accomplished with the audacity of white male entitlement. He also bragged about it, not realizing I found out how he got it. Ugh. Should I not go to the wedding? The act would be effectively severing ties with my mother’s sister’s side of the family (who I don’t really like, but I still feel guilty somehow by doing this, in part because I think it would be hurtful to my mother).

  9. Liberate-her permalink
    October 31, 2010 6:26 pm

    I should add that one of the reasons I feel conflicted is because I know, although he does not, that he carries a genetic disease that causes some autistic-spectrum symptoms. He had extreme sensory defensiveness and intense social anxiety his entire life without having it diagnosed, and I see the unethical way he procured his job as a sort of trying-to-get-by move to survive, even though he is obviously benefiting from his white male privilege while he does it. It’s a sort of disability v. privilege thing, I guess, that’s bothering me.

    I know you’ll say he’s an asshole and that I obviously shouldn’t go, but I still feel guilty about skipping it.

    • November 1, 2010 2:51 pm

      Well, what I will say, Liberate-her, is that your family is not going to dissociate from you just because you miss a wedding. So, you definitely shouldn’t let any fear of that push you into doing something you’d rather not.

      As for the rest of it, though, genetic diseases and whatnot – my experience is that males are pretty good at coming up with their own excuses for their behavior, in those rare cases where their sense of entitlement hasn’t altogether eliminated any obligation to ever excuse themselves to others. Whatever you decide, I think it’s always best to make decisions based on the information at hand rather than on a generosity of rosy speculation as to a male’s intentions or control over himself.

  10. November 1, 2010 4:59 pm

    You know there are functioning disabilities and there are non-functioning disabilities and I am sure there are some in-between that render a person somewhat functional and somewhat non-functional. However, I want to discuss functioning disabilities and how I feel are monopolizing and appropriating resources that should be reserved for non-functioning disabilities. For one thing, I am sure almost every adult human being can be diagnosed with some type of disability. Nevertheless, I will tell you of my disability. As a child, I did have speech problem, which I still have now. What speech therapy taught me (as a child, back when speech therapy was very privative, —not that it has progressed that much, because how speech develops is one of the great mysteries that we as humans have not been able to solve, completely) was to take my time and pronounce words, –when I am so inclined, as in making sure I say the th in words instead of substituting it with the lazy f. I believe I’ve said this before, but it was the one thing I sympathize with George Bush and that is his speech/internal process. I am quite sure Bush has the same problem that I have. We are not able to process sound as it is heard and translate into speech. Not to say there is anything wrong with my (our, I am so diagnosing Bush, lol) hearing, there is not. And, it was terrible in 1969 when I was tested and had to miss kindergarten. There were limited options. As in, “Well, she is not deaf and she is not dumb or slow, she just needs to do…………..well, we are not really sure, throw her into some speech therapy classes….” What I did have was a great MEMORY! Fantastic memory. So, all I needed to do was learn a word how to say a word and could from that point on say it always. I didn’t have to rely on phonics. If I had to rely on phonics, I would have been fucked! I never questioned my intelligence. Never. I questioned my education when I became an adult and realized that I was lacking one. And in the military, as an instructor, I was a star, because I did what others (less intelligent) were willing to do, and that is actually read and study the materials I had to present. Never underestimate the overestimation of military members. My peers thought they could wing everything. It was always such a breath of fresh air when I ran across an instructor who had not only learned his/her materials but understood that material, from weapons, to mortar fire, to sexual harassment. The average instructor just reads off a page. But, I am birdwalking. It was not until I had graduated college, with honors (not bragging, but making a point), and helping a professor that I found out the name of my disability, not that I really ever thought I had a disability. Actually, I just repressed any knowledge I had of a disability (the speech thing) and concluded that I was over it, or at least enough that there was not a problem. I never had a problem communicating something. There has even been times people concluded that I communicated more than I actually did, so what is the problem. However, this professor that I was researching with saw a pattern in my emails. Emails being something that I wrote real quick and did not edit. She said she thought I was dyslexic. So we had the university test me. I am dyslexic. But, not in the way everyone thinks all forms of dyslexia works. I have a problem processing words/thoughts and translating those words/thoughts into speech/writing. Guess what? I have been a bumbling idiot ever since I have been diagnosed. I tell myself to stop it. STOP IT right now. But, since I have been diagnosed it seems as if my speech is worse. It seems that I can no longer make eye contact. That I talk slower. That I am more insecure, etc. etc. It totally blew my post-graduate plans. And suddenly I started remember nasty comments. Like when I used to instruct in the military, periodically men would make fun of me and say things like, “What the hell is she saying?” I dismissed it as them being assholes. But you know, people can only be mocked when they have a repetition of a tic, quirk, sound, movement, etc. And a few bastards were able to pick up on it. Luckily, I ignored it now, but now, NOW, I fucking feel disable! I feel disable now that I have been labeled disable. Yet, never in a million years will I apply for a job or ask for benefits under the guise that I am disability. Because I have worked and instructed before without thinking I was disable, and I was successful. Now, it just sucks. And anyone who willingly appropriates a disable job, to me, is a sucky person.

    • November 1, 2010 11:00 pm

      Going depressingly personal is always a thread killer. One would think I have learned that by now.

    • November 3, 2010 2:39 am

      Woah, Kitty, your experience with yr diagnosis of dyslexia sounds very similar to a close friend of mine who got recently diagnosed. She refuses to let it get to her, and still reads and writes a lot without letting the whole ‘dyslexia’ label bring her down.

      And you graduated with honours? Wow, that’s awesome 🙂 what I hope for one day too.

  11. joankelly6000 permalink
    November 2, 2010 1:02 pm

    aw Kitty, I liked your comment, just have been too busy to say anything in response besides “great comment!” or the like, and felt like that would just seem empty. Anyway, I was glad you shared it, it made a lot of sense to me, and I didn’t find it depressing. Just truthful and thoughtful.

  12. Liberate-her permalink
    November 2, 2010 3:58 pm

    Sorry I didn’t comment sooner, I just checked back in today! Thanks for the replies; I really appreciate them.

    Margie,

    I guess I feel like it would be the final straw of offense to them since I unceremoniously stopped spending Christmas with them a few years ago and deliberately went to the movies some days just to avoid unexpected stop-ins, just in case. LOL. I pretended I didn’t get the Engagement party invitation. We don’t call them anymore because I requested that my mother not do that (the mother of this cousin was mean to me growing up–not horribly so, but she was self-hating and projected it onto me instead of her own daughter, so I dislike them and don’t really want to spend time with them).

    Kitty,

    I have thought about this problem with labeling, too, Kitty. I do think self-perception is an important modifier of behavior. Like, I also have the sensory defensiveness (all sensory perceptions are augmented tremendously, leading many “average” experiences of, say, something like fireworks to be painfully loud for me) and the social anxiety, but it’s not as extreme as his. Had I been diagnosed as a kid as having these Aspergers traits (I also have the intense hyperfocus on personal interests, compulsiveness, etc.), I would have also labeled myself as disabled and probably not had all the friends that I had growing up and saw myself as “broken” instead of highly gifted! I always did well in school too, and saw myself as specifically above average, not a negative deviation from average. I know it was the same for him too as a kid, but because his sensory defensiveness was worse (he’d puke when fire alarms went off), and social anxiety was considerably worse (it’s very painful for him to associate with, say, colleagues, even in a limited professional capacity), it seemed like he was functional, yes, but the reason he didn’t finish school and had to make up work experience to get the job was in part because these are such personal trials for him beyond the basic trials people go through of working for the opportunities at all, hence my feeling conflicted.

    I know that we have this specific genetic problem, but I elected not to tell that side of the family about it because there’s really nothing you can do about it. In a lot of ways, it just seems to be a “different” way of being, not a defective one–until it’s labeled as such, of course! Sorry about your own experiences with that, Kitty. 😦 I notice my sensitivity is not a defect in my perception of the world, since I pick up on little things much better than other people. The problem is in the expectations other people have that we all perceive things with the same sensitivity (or in most people’s case, insensitivity).

  13. Liberate-her permalink
    November 2, 2010 4:09 pm

    I will add that I probably will not go, because beyond personal judgments about the party at hand, I obviously don’t support the institution of marriage itself and even attending the wedding of someone else who presumably lacks the feminist political awareness that I “enjoy” is still tacitly supporting the stupid antiquated cultural ritual.

  14. Liberate-her permalink
    November 2, 2010 4:59 pm

    OK so I guess you’re wondering what I’m worried about since it appeared that my concern was their potential dissociation even though it turns out that in fact, I am the one who is deliberately dissociating. I feel guilty about it, is all. I just want to know that I have grounds for dissociation, so there’s no reason to feel guilty about it, and that it’s not too blatantly hurtful either, including to my mother. I believe in a chosen family, and I am trying to “drift away” from people I don’t enjoy spending time with.

    • Mary Sunshine permalink
      November 2, 2010 5:23 pm

      Choose yourself as a family. Add “family members” as you find other compatible souls.

  15. November 3, 2010 4:47 am

    I can’t remember if it was Kitty or Margaret who made the comment about watching The Walking Dead but I saw it last night and holy fuck it was awesome! Okay, so far, pretty disappointing as far as womon-friendlyness goes, but a TV show based on a comic about zombies? Hell yeah.

    Thanks for the recommendation/heads up about it.

    • November 3, 2010 11:30 pm

      I mentioned The Walking Dead. It is AMC’s filler for the absence of Mad Men. I missed the premiere Sunday night because I was out trick-or-treating and when I did make it back I only had time to watch Sherlock Holmes. Repeats of that were offered less than repeats of The Walking Dead, so I had to make a choice. I never miss anything with Benedict Cumberbatch in it if I can help it. However, I do have The Walking Dead auto tuned for Thursday night, I think or it may be tonight. I have to tell you I saw a quick moment of it and will have to get used to Andrew Lincoln’s fake American accent. LOL! When many Brits do American accents they either go way Southern or spaghetti western, or a combination of the two. Both British actresses playing Americans in Trollope’s The Way we Live Now (oops, not British, she is from Australia) and He Knew He was Right (oops, not British, she is from New Zealand) sounded like Annie Get Your Gun (although I don’t know how that sounds, that is what they sounded like to me). Speaking of Lincoln doesn’t he look a lot like Mark Feuerstein of Royal Pains? (Don’t even imagine that I watch that shit, it is just that I saw that guy in the previews and thought of Lincoln.)

    • Liberate-her permalink
      November 5, 2010 6:10 pm

      He was known by his “professional” name of David. OF COURSE! Who the fuck would want to use the lady name in a professional setting and ruin all that accrued male privilege?

    • Mary Sunshine permalink
      November 5, 2010 8:38 pm

      Cool.

      😎

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