I DON’T LOVE YOU! A.K.A Duh! Winning!
I know this will come as a shock, because it is obvious that you cannot stop thinking about me. However, the reality is, I DON’T LOVE YOU! You and I will never be. I know it is sad to be alone. I know that it is hard not to think about me, because, well, think about it, it is me we are talking about. Nevertheless, I cannot be responsible for the sensuality that my internet presence invokes. I cannot be held accountable for the lust that you feel for me.
Stop wanting me. Help me help you help me help you to stop thinking about me.
I am not the cracker (as in is a baked good commonly made from grain flour dough) that will satisfy your want. [Hint: Please do not blunder this one as if you are Emma’s Harriet Smith.]
It may take some time, but trust me, some day you will be able to move on.