The Dog Days of Summer- Just Like a Christmas Letter Gone Wrong
My daughter is currently pouting because the parrot that lives next door, and around here that means three to five feet from where one lives, is saying what she believes to be “SpongeBob.” I always holler out “SpongeBob” whenever I hear the parrot squawking, but I don’t believe it has picked up that word. Instead, I believe the parrot is saying “Ropa.” My daughter wants the parrot to say the word of her choice.
That cage is simply not big enough; actually, unless it has a least ¼ of an acre fenced in, I would not be satisfied with any cage size. If I was a rat-fink I would call the SPCA or something because I did look up owning parrots and it specifically states that there needs to be a few hours each day of human interaction and allowing the parrot out of the cage. This poor parrot is closed off in a detached (from the house) out building all night and then the cage is pulled out for a few hours each day. One day it was shut in all the way until 6:00 PM. These particular neighbors are disgusting with all of their possessions. There is so much crap in the garage that the cars (giant SUVs) have to be parked on the street and a big ass boat takes the one space in the driveway. Who rents a house and buys a boat, a big-big (used how celebrities use really-really) boat. Nevertheless, none of that is any of my business.
The week after next, the girl will be going to day camp. She will then have a reason to stay on schedule, unlike now, in that she seems to be staying up all night and sleeping all day. Bothering my sleep of course by informing me each time she goes down stairs or waking me in order to stay awake while she runs downstairs.
Braces are in her future. I laughed right in the Orthodontist’s face when she/he asked if I was considering Invisalign over traditional braces. HA HA HA HA! As if I am going to willingly take on another thing that I have to follow through with her and pay twice as much to do so.
Did you do your homework?
Did you brush your teeth?
Did you wash your face?
Did you do your SAT words today?
Did you put your shoes away?
Did you take your socks out of your shoes?
Did you listen to public radio?
Did you wipe the water off your ice skate blades?
Did you ask your teacher if you could do extra credit?
Did you walk the dog?
Did you give the dog fresh water?
Did you pour the old water into my Ivy?
Did you put your folded clothes away?
Did you go through your sock drawer?
Have you found those pants you want mended?
Have you called your sister?
Did you write your birthday gifts thank you notes yet?
Have you called your grandmother?
Did you get that lip balm out of the car door before it melted?
Did you close the garage door?
Did you get your phone out of your bicycle’s basket?
How much water have you had today?
Will you eat the orange and banana if I cut it up and throw in some pecans?
ARE YOU WEARING YOUR INVISALIGN?
It is official; I am now on the board of directors of a wonderful non-profit. Each time I tell that to someone I feel like the dissolute Sir Felix Carbury when he announces to his mother and sister that he is officially on the Board of Directors of the South Central Pacific and Mexican Railway. The scoffs are deafening.