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First World Situation: Vacuuming and Coffee Beans

July 9, 2012

My daughter told me yesterday that the summer is slipping away and she has not stayed on course. Apparently, she has a list of things she thinks she should accomplish before school starts back, –reading, writing, etc. and has yet to do any. In her defense, we did spend one nice week at the Redwood Forest and working on a flower bed in our backyard with a dear friend from out of town. There is no way she was going to miss a second of hearing her mother and her mother’s best friend belt out (off-key) songs from the 70s while trying to plant flowers in horrendous soil (Also the child had to monitor her mother since saying bad words was off the table for the visit) (I failed). As she is lamenting about her laziness she comments on how nice it would be to be as disciplined as I am when it comes to daily chores/tasks.

“What are you talking about girl? There is no chore/task that I routinely do. I come from a very apathetic family [Actually, we were quite lazy, but I don’t like adding complex fact to poor people tropes.] when it came to completing tasks. I must give myself a pep talk each morning just to press the snooze button on my alarm clock.”

“Well, you do vacuum every morning.”

“What are you talking about girl; I vacuum [Hoover, Hooving, as they say in the UK] about once a month, at best.”

“Yes, yes, I hear the vacuum cleaner every morning while I am in the shower.”

“Well, next time you hear this mysterious vacuum cleaner, be sure to come and let me know so I can hear it too.”

This afternoon when I decided to have a cup of coffee because I missed having one this morning, I started grinding some beans (Because I got it like that!). The child comes running down the stairs screaming, “The vacuum cleaner, the vacuum cleaner!” I’ve had the same bean grinder for six years. Sometimes I want to throw it out the window, especially when it gets clogged up. How has it been six years and she has yet to connect the sound with the appliance? What comfort it must have been thinking you had a mother who got up every morning at the ass crack of dawn and vacuumed the carpet. I hope the reality blow will not be too severe.

One Comment leave one →
  1. doublevez permalink
    July 19, 2012 9:36 am

    I was accused of shaving every morning. “I know you shave your legs” said to contradict me among friends when I claimed not to have any leg hair. Turning to face my friends: “She shaves them every morning. I can hear her.”

    Geez.

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