When my empathy (defined how I define it, as in, I attempt to get as close to feeling the pain as the victims without going over the edge) is not automatic, I have to next travel to the situation, to feel, hear, see, smell, swallow all the pain. In this case, regarding the little school in Connecticut, I have not been able to get around feeling grateful that me or none of mine were there. It’s too much. I know my limitations. Mentally, for this situation I cannot handle scratching the surface, much less diving in.